BIZARRO - THE WEEK 4 PREVIEW

Pauls Polarbears become only the 5^th team in CNFLE history to have started the season 3 & 0 joining the now defunct Yoda from Wales and the Benchwarmers from S2, and Disco and Dnickman from S3. All of whom made the playoffs in that said same season.

It should be noted however that none of the above went on to win the Carltonbowl though!

Print it… It’s a fact

GAME OF THE WEEK

PAULS POLARBEARS (3-0) v SUPER SWEDES (2-1)

Coach Paul's future?

All time series record : Series tied 2-2

Last time out : Bryants Baptists 106 – 140 Swedes

Despite finishing dead last in both seasons of participation to date, the series between the current CNFLE North champions and the current leaders of the same division is surprisingly tied. We were denied the opportunity of a matchup of the unbeaten teams when the Swedes disappointed against the pre season North favourites for the division, the Warriors. The Polarbears made no such mistake however in their demolition of Riggins in the last round of divisional matchups and now sit alone as the last unbeaten team.

After riding Manning’s hot arm so far this season, Coach Paul makes his first big decision of the year and sets Eli down on the pine in favour of a rejuvenated Ryan Fitzpatrick who could put up a whole heap of yards in what is expected to be a shoot out. After toying with the idea of dropping Stafford, Coach Peter finally gave Flacco the starting job and after Thursdays game has a healthy 27 point return to show for his courageous decision, however given Fitzpatrick’s potential that may only be a par score this week. EDGE : SWEDES (just)

Arian Foster will rip up the ground against an ineffective Titans run defence, the only problem for Coach Paul is the number of carries Foster is conceding to Ben Tate. With Matt Forte gaining fitness again, Michael Bush will likely see a reduction in workload. However that won’t really be in evidence this week as the Bears will likely use Forte sparingly. For the Swedes both Lynch and Law Firm have outstanding matchups against the Rams and Jags respectively. Look for one or both to have a big day out this gameday. EDGE : SWEDES (just)

Under normal circumstances, a trio of Jennings, White and Harvin would give any team a great chance to be victorious. Combine their natural talent with matchups against the Panthers, Saints & Lions and it’s just plain unfair. Each player has big play potential and are pitted against weak pass defences. It could get real ugly, real quick. Coach Peter is forced to sit fantasy zombie, Reggie Wayne as the first week of byes kick in. Thomas is proving to be Manning’s primary target in Denver and could play well again against an abject Raiders defence. Amendola will hope to get back to his week two stat line but will find it tough this week against the excellent Seahawks D and Holmes will be completely shutdown against the Niners secondary. EDGE : POLARBEARS

Finley generally suffers fro being option 3 in a crowded Packers receiving corps as there is only so much to go round! However his prospects against a Saints defence that has been hit hard since the controversial bounty-gate scandal are significantly increased this week. Look for double digits. With Hernandez out, the Patriots will lean heavily on Gronk, who despite being listed as questionable is expected to play. He may see less work this week as the threat of his impact may be more important to the Pats than his actual impact but he is still an elite player at this position. EDGE : SWEDES

Akers is the market leader in the kicking game and is good for double digits every week, good call Coach Paul however it seems that Coach Paul has plumped for the Bills D this week who are scheduled to face off against a points happy Patriots offence. This could be the bravest call this side of Orchard Park or it could be the bonehead call of all time. We wait with baited breath! Tucker recorded his worst return of the year so far for the Swedes with 5 points from the Thursday night game for Ravens. The Eagles defence has been as good as advertised so far this year and will hope to play well again at home against their divisional foe, the Giants, who have been on fire so far this year. Neither defensive matchup appears to be a gimme, but we take the Eagles to have a better chance of not imploding : EDGE SWEDES

With two players already on the board, the Swedes have a handy 32 point advantage going into the main event. Much will depend for Coach Paul on how the Bills get on against their divisional nemesis but it’s too big a call to put any money down with any certainty! We see the Polarbears melting from Swedish heat and the last unbeaten record is gone. Miami veterans celebrate again!!

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 10

 BENCH WARMERS (1-2) v AUTOPICK WARRIORS (2-1)

Coach Conor.  Relevant?

All time series record : Warriors lead 3-1

Last time out : Riggins 70 – 122 Royale with Td’s

After an astonishing week 2 return, Riggins were hit with a double whammy last week when both Spiller and Bush left the game early with injuries. Autopick won their second straight comprehensively dumping on the previously unbeaten Swedes.

With question marks about both Bush and Spiller and the potential for a Bush bust against the resolute Cards defence, Coach Richard hopes that his T ‘n’ T tandem of Riggins bench warmers prove to be a dynamite duo this week, both have good matchups and Tate especially is hawking valuable points off Foster each week. Cruz will get smothered by the wings of the Eagle secondary and Bryant will struggle against the Bears. Rodgers needs to get back to his 2011 form for Riggins to challenge and his matchup against the Saints could prove to be his trigger.

Despite the reluctance of both the media and the Coach to give any love to the Autopick Warriors they still appear to be in pretty good shape for a real challenge. Bowe, Fitz and Green will score bundles of points each week. So far Fitz is ranked #3 on the Warrior receivers chart behind the other two which tells a story in itself! Ray Rice disappointed with a 9 point return from the Thursday game which will worry the Warriors give Riggins big score potential.

Both teams need a win to keep pace with the other two teams in the ultra competitive North. Riggins more so as a loss could see them three games back by the end of week four but the absence of their big two backfield stars will ultimately cost them.

VERDICT : WARRIORS BY 14

IT’S A LOTTERY (1-2) v WEST COAST MAFIA (1-2)

CNFLE Central.  Bizarro.

All time series record : Mafia lead 2-0

Last time out : Lottery 107 – 118 Dnickman

Season 1 seems like such a long time ago for the Lottery. But the painful memories of Season 2 & Season 3 were swiftly banished last week as the Lottery provided real evidence of Coach Andy’s belief that this team could challenge this year after defeating Ttttaylor for the first time in CNFLE history. After recording a franchise low 72 points in week 2 West Coast Mafia sunk even lower in week three posting a shocking 57 points. Even the usual weekly abuse at pre match press conferences has been replaced with uncomfortable silences and tears. It’s all very strange in the Bizarro world Central division!

If ever there was vindication for Coach Andy’s decision to select MJD at the end of the 2^nd round last week was it as the Jags star provided evidence that the pre season holdout has had no negative effect at all on Pocket Hercules. Jones Drew will tote the rock against the Bungles this week and should score a bunch again. The biggest problem for the Lottery is the quartet of pine riders on a bye, including his #1 wideout and the other rookie sensation in Indy which will leave the Lottery without any Luck this week. Manning does have a good matchup though and should prove to be an able deputy. Eagles Coach Reid is being encouraged to give McCoy the ball more and Welker has clearly benefitted from the Hernandez injury. Good times for the Lottery ahead?

Last week was just plain ugly. There was just nothing for the usual vociferous Irishman to voice his usually confident opinion on. With Wells on IR and word out of Chi-town that Forte is on the mend, Coach Cullen wasted no time in reinstated the Bears back. Whether it’s a week to soon will remain to be seen. CJ2K still keeps his RB#2 spot but for how much longer? He has an awful matchup against the Texans run D which is ranked #2. Romo has also struggled so far behind an erratic O line and it won’t get any better against a swarming Bears pass rush.

A win here and the victor will break even at 2 divisional wins after 4 weeks and would be looking hopefully toward a tilt at a divisional title. A loss and it could be a long season. There is certainly more upside with the Lottery matchups this week and we like the Commish to challenge for Central honours after a long, patient and often painful wait.

VERDICT : LOTTERY BY 13

TTTAYLOR (0-3) v BONE ROCKS (2-1)

Tttaylor to blow the central wide open?

All time series record : Series tied @ 2-2

Last time out : Ttttaylor 119 – 73 Rocks

Is the CNFLE Champions Curse as real as the Madden hex? It certainly seems so after Ttttaylor dropped a heartbreaking loss to the Lottery despite scoring over 120 points! To further rub it in, current leaders of the Central, Bone Rocks scored 47 points less than the champs last week and yet managed to find the W after the Mafia imploded! Amazing huh!

Ok so we all knew Ttttaylor were slow starters however no one quite envisaged an 0&3 start. This week Ttttaylor got off to a flier when Torrey Smith found the endzone and almost a ton of yards to open up with 15 points. Ryan and Jones have a great matchup against the sulking Panthers. Is Ryan the best QB in the NFL at the moment? The early draft selection of Charles paid off last week as the Chiefs star back contributed almost 300 total offensive yards, whilst Charles is unlikely to score quite as well this week he does have a good matchup against a soft Chargers run defence. With Spiller questionable and Jackson not yet 100% has Ttttaylor made an inspired Choice in picking up Tashard for week 4?

The big news from Rocksville is the benching of Super Cam in favour of the efficient and steady Matt Shaub. Newton is however ranked #2 in one category this year. Bad body language, and is only just behind king of the sulks Jay Cutler after last weeks woeful performance. Coach Lars will be hoping that the QB – WR tandem with Johnson pays heavy dividends against a Titans D that was as leaky as Dear Liza’s bucket against the Lions last week. RB Martin could pick up a few points against the Redskins this week and Pettigrew will hope to add to his growing reputation against the Vikes. Gore and Crabtree may struggle against a good Jets defence in what will be low scoring affair at the Meadowlands

The way the Central has gone so far, just about anything could happen in this matchup. There are signs that Ttttaylors season is turning and Coach Lars Bone Rocks team is officially ranked 12th in the True rankings system suggesting that there position at the top of the division is perhaps a little generous. We see Ttttaylor winning to blow the Central wide open!

VERDICT : TTTTAYLORBY 14

SEVENTY NINE FC (1-2) v HAIRY FROG DISCO (2-1)

Richardson's shoes.  A good platform.

All time series record : Series tied @ 2-2

Last time out : Niners 80 – 137 Disco

This matchup pits the two previous winners of the South division. Seventy Nine are looking to end a two game skid after they dropped a tough loss against the French, whilst the Hairies held on by only four points to defeat Fear factory to improve to 2-1

Rookie Trent Richardson has already given the Niners a solid platform from which to work from this week after his 100 yards and a TD provide a decent 16 point return. Once again the Niners fortunes will rest with Tom Terrific and a matchup against the Bills will give Coach Martin encouragement that Brady will be able to hook up with wideout Lloyd. Former Hairy and Griffin III trade bait, Albert Morris comes into the line-up this week and has a good looking matchup against the Buccs. With Antonio Brown on a bye the wideouts look a little thin for the Niners, but Coach Martin will hope that Golden Tate will wrestle some more points this week to help the cause.

Will the Griffin III trade come back to haunt Coach Martin. Through 3 games, RGIII is the highest points scorer bar none and a matchup against the Buccs won’t harm his chances of adding to his reputation. Nicks is out for a second consecutive week which hurts the Hairies chances but instead of reinstating last weeks last gasp hero Titus Young, Coach Calum has plucked Ramses Barden off the waiver wire who is slated to be lined up opposite Cruz after his breakout performance last week. Rudolph makes his debut at tight end and after three straight ten point plus games will be expected to contribute 4 points maximum and then end up as waiver wire fodder. Them’s the breaks I guess.

With only one win separating all four teams in the South this is surely the 2012 division of peril. With seven of the Niners back in the hutch by the close of the early game Coach Calum will know exactly what’s required to take the Hairies to three wins although it really could go either way.

VERDICT : HAIRIES BY 1

FRENCH LEADER (2-1) v FEAR FACTORY (1-2)

Fench Leader.  Not another Holiday?

All time series record : Leader leads 3-1

Last time out : Leader 142 – 107 Factory

It’s that time of year again, you know the time when Coach Laurent goes walkabout. But luckily this time he has taken his team folder with him it seems. The French recorded their best score of the season last week as they demolished the sub-par Niners. There could be no doubting Coach Botond’s coaching credentials last week as his team could not have performed any better, leaving nothing on the bench in a heartbreaking loss against the lucky Disco.

Big Ben led the French to their victory last week with a seasons best 43.16 points. However Big Ben sits this week and the Leader will have to rely on Dalton gang leader Andy to bring some points against a poor Jags team. The question mark about Steven Jackson’s health are not particularly helpful to the French cause and Richardson comes in as cover. Peterson has a nice matchup this week against the Lions. Maclin is fit again and his one two punch with Jackson will hope for big things against a depleted Giants secondary. The Seahawks defence will look to make a mess of the Rams.

Fear Factory’s heartbreak last week was made even more difficult to take as former Hairy, Kevin Smith, contributed absolutely nothing following his trade for Donald Brown. Was he in the pay of his former master? Who knows, however what we do know is that the Lions RB is benched in favour for the questionable Fred Jackson who has been rushed back into the Bills backfield following the injury to Spiller. Marshall & Austin face off against each other in the Jones-mahal but neither looks to have a good matchup with extreme secondaries and pass rushes expected to maul OL’s. Even though the Saints are struggling, Brees numbers will be barely affected as the offense will be expected to put up 40 points just to be competitive.

With both Big Ben and Coach Laurent away on byes this week, Coach Botond will fancy his chances of breaking his two game skid to take a hard fought divisional victory.

VERDICT : FACTORY BY 7

Wins for Swedes, Warriors, Lottery, Ttttaylor, Disco and Factory condenses the picture as all three division leaders after week 3 are picked to go down in week 4. All three North teams will be tied, the Lottery will be #1 in the Central and the Hairies open up a one game advantage in the South. Its madness!

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Just the facts ma’am.

Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Hairy Frog Disco 6-4

Super Swedes 6-4

Autopick Warriors 6-4

Pauls Polarbears 7-4

It’s a lottery 5-2

Fear factory 5-2

French Leader 3-1

Ttttaylor 7-2

Bone Rocks 5-1

Seventy Nine FC 5-1

West Coast Mafia 7-1

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 8-1

JUST THE FACTS MA'AM

JUST THE FACTS MA’AM

Contrary to recent reports, Ttttaylor’s week 2 score of 49 is not in fact the lowest score in CNFLE history. In Season 2 the hapless Fear Factory under Botond’s stewardship accrued a measly 46.4 points. However it should be noted that the most abysmal weekly showing occurred in Season 3 when the then champions Seventy Nine FC posted a shameful score of 41.96 against fellow strugglers Lottery.

Print It. It’s a Fact!

GAME OF THE WEEK

PAULS POLARBEARS v  BENCH WARMERS

Pauls Polarbears.  Thursday, Sunday, Happy Days.

All time series record : Riggins lead 3-1

Last time out : Baptists 64 – 128 Riggins

After the debacle of Season 3, who would have thought that the top game in week 3 would contain either the Polarbears or the Bench Warmers who totaled a paltry 7 wins between them. No matter what the result is between the two the season 4 win total will have reached 50% already in a significantly improved campaign for both. The move towards the Arctic Circle has certainly done Coach Paul the world of good and after two weeks the ‘Bears are one of only two teams who have a perfect record. Coach Richard watched in wonder last week as his team ripped apart a Seventy Nine team in the early games as late round picks Bush and Spiller ran wild. Even the Bench Warmers bench warmers had bumper weeks which lead to speculation that trade winds may be circling.

The advent of Thursday night games from the seasons start means that many players will have already have scored by the time of going to press and this week is the turn of the Polarbears signal caller Eli Manning to post his numbers on the board. After routing the Panthers Manning put up a decent but not spectacular 18 point total. The Riggins signal caller had a rare down week last time out so don’t expect a repeat performance although the Seattle defence looks to be a very useful unit this season. With the possibility of running plays being eliminated from the Packers playbook due to the Hawks run stuffing capabilities, Rodgers will likely throw 40+ times and should be looking for a score over 25 this week. EDGE : RIGGINS

The Bears used their waiver pick to perfection this week when they scooped up Andre Brown who was filling in for the injured Bradshaw in the Giants backfield. 28 points later and all the Coaches who had an earlier waiver priority were doing passable impressions of Homer Simpson. Doh! With Foster as the second back this week facing a Del Rio coached Denver D a similar total is entirely conceivable. Riggins running backs ran like wild horses last week and more of the same will be expected from Spiller & Bush who also ended last year on fire. It looks like Coach Richard was paying keen attention after all despite the sophomore slump. Spiller faces the Browns who will struggle without Haden in the secondary. Given CJOK’s recent form expect big numbers here. Bush will have a harder time against a Jets defence that will be better at closing down the sole Miami weapon than the Raiders were. The bonus for Riggins though is that Reggie is finally living up to his potential and is showing the Saints what they could have won if they stopped with all this committee nonsense. EDGE : BEARS

As good as the backs are there is an element of uncertainty about the wideouts for the Polarbears this week. Roddy White is the clear #2 in Atlanta now and with Gonzo and Rodgers snaffling plays as well he will do well to get a handful of looks his way so must produce to keep Ryan interested. Jennings is coming back from a groin strain but adds more weaponry to the Packers arsenal and has scored in 6 of the last seven road games. Harvin is the wildcard this week as he will be used in a variety of formations to keep an excellent 49ers D on their toes. It’s difficult to see big numbers here. Coach Richard must have rubbed his hands with glee when he saw that his 28 point receiver Cruz was up against a leaky panther secondary, but with Nicks out, the corners double teamed Cruz and stifled the wideout for Big Blue forcing Eli to look elsewhere to return a miserable 4 points this week. Dez Bryant will need to help out this week and has a great matchup against the Bucs in Dallas home opener. Floyd has been a revelation in San Diego this year and although he has a tough matchup against the Falcons has scored a TD or got 100+ yards in 8 of the last 10 games. EDGE : RIGGINS

Once again the Thursday game has set the Polarbear bar high with Martellus Bennett (another excellent waiver wire pick up for Coach Paul) posting a superb 15 points. Fred Davis has yet to get going this season but has an excellent opportunity this week against a porous Bungles defence, although RG3 does seem to be looking elsewhere when he drops back to throw. EDGE : BEARS

Akers is a top tier kicker and will get plenty of opportunity to kick points when the 49ers face the Vikes, however they may be of the single digit variety this week though. The Lions D has produced on a regular basis this season and last, and the matchup against a Titan team with ‘CJ not OK’ averaging just 1.1 yards on his 20 carries so far this season is a mouthwatering prospect. Coach Richard will be hoping Manning senior has more success than previous QB’s against a Houston D to place Prater in position to pick up points. The Packers provided a plethora of points last week and against rookie signal caller Russell Wilson will be hoping to put up good numbers again! EDGE : EVEN

Despite the fast start from Pauls Polarbears this match is far from over. Much will depend on how many points Foster puts up and whether Reggie Bush is the real deal or can only make hay only against the weaker defences. Notwithstanding a potential comeback from Riggins, the points already in the bag for the Bears make the current advantage to good to ignore and we like the Bears to go 3 & 0 baby. So what alternate reality have we stumbled into then?

VERDICT : BEARS BY 10

AUTOPICK WARRIORS v SUPER SWEDES

Mathews.  First Start?

All time series record : Series tied 2-2

Last time out : Royale 131 – 147 Swedes

In any other week a matchup between an unbeaten team and their divisional rival just one game behind would be a candidate for GOTW, however such is the form of the other two teams in the North that the matchup between the current division champs and the pre season division favourite can only take second billing. Both teams won last week and the way the Swedes dispatched the Lottery was particularly impressive. After opening day disappointment and being written off by certain sections of the CNFLE media, Autopicks were glad to record their first win of the season with an impressive win over Bone Rocks. Neither team has recorded a score from the Thursday game.

The big news for the Warriors is that Ryan Mathews could be in line for his first start against the Falcons this weekend. It could be an easier matchup but getting the crocked running back on the field is a step in the right direction for the temporarily rebranded franchise. Wideouts Bowe and Green have great matchups this week, and could post major stat lines, especially our start of the week, AJ Green who is facing a Redskins defence that will be without some big name starters this week. Look for the Bears to maul the Rams this week and add some welcome bonus points from the D.

Coach Peter must be pleased with his first two games, but this matchup is a real challenge and the North looks to be particularly strong this year after a couple of seasons in the doldrums, which is what the Swedes hope will happen to Matt Stafford this week who has underwhelming thus far. The Lions signal caller has a great matchup this week. Elsewhere The Law Firm has been dropped to the bench this week in favour of McGahee. Lets hope this decision doesn’t come back to haunt the Swedes as Ellis has a good matchup against a depleted Redskins D. Amendola could be the 2012 Welker but will surely find things tougher against the Bears than he did last week. Don’t expect 15 catches this time out. Wayne should be good for a high score against the Jags who appear to be weaker on the D than last year.

Falling two games behind the leader at any time of the season is not ideal and it is conceivable that the Warriors could be that margin in deficit to both the Bears and Swedes come the end of the Monday night. A win here for the Swedes and it could set up a fantastic battle of the unbeaten teams next week. Television rights have already been secured in anticipation. This game is a week to early for Mathews despite Greens heroics and Stafford proves to be the difference.

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 7

TTTTAYLOR v IT’S A LOTTERY

The Toilet Bowl.  New Home Of The Lottery?

All time series record : Ttttaylor leads 4-0

Last time out : Ttttaylor 113 – 80 Lottery

The first Toilet Bowl of the Season pits regular participants It’s a Lottery against last years Champion in what would have been a gimme in years gone by. The Lottery have never beaten Ttttaylor and have won only 1 of the past 13 divisional contests. Can things get any worse for Coach Jonathon after last weeks debacle? Well yes of course it can, they could lose to the Lottery!

Steve Smith has already contributed 8.6 points which pro rata means that Ttttaylor could hit the heady heights of almost 90 points which should just about see off their week 3 opponent. With Bradshaw ruled out, Saints back Ingram gets the nod, although don’t expect him to rip up any trees as both Thomas & Sproles look good for work as well. Charles has a great opportunity to prove that he is back to 100% against a Saints D which has allowed an average of 150 yards through the first two games. Expect a rebound from Julio Jones this week after his historic condition of Alabama Dropsy resurfaced. Coach Jonathon has made an interesting choice in picking up the Browns defence this week who face the Bills. Last week it all went horribly wrong when the Chiefs were selected based on their matchup against… you guessed it, the Bills!

Ok, the first thing here is to think positive, breathe and then don’t panic. Statistically the Lottery are the weakest team, but statistics can lie. On paper Lottery the team looks thin at the skill positions, but remember the game isn’t played on paper. On the plus side Coach Andy is the third best Coach listed in the Coach rankings. Whether that merely highlights the relative weakness on the bench is a debate for another day, but it’s something to start to work with. A team based on Denver playmakers will have a tough time this week against the Texans, so Coach Andy has decided that there is no place for Peyton and what he needs is a little bit of Luck. With Hernandez ruled out for the Pats we like Welker to receive a bump in his numbers. See, things are looking up already.

We could try and rationalize how Lottery could make a game of it and they could, after all on any given Sunday any team could beat any other and if Ttttaylor repeats the woeful performance of week 2 then we would certainly give the Lottery half a chance, but lightning doesn’t strike twice and the mass waiver claims in midweek suggest that there is still work to be done for the Commish’s comrades.

VERDICT : TTTTAYLOR BY 14

BONE ROCKS v WEST COAST MAFIA

Coach Lars.

All time series record : Series tied 1-1

                                            Last time out : Rocks 123 – 120 Dnickman

This matchup pits the two top teams in the Central, however after sub par performances from both last week and the seeming shift in fortunes for the teams in the Central it all feels a little flat and the question now is ‘who wants to repair their reputation and take control of the division?’

After Forte went down with a high ankle sprain in week 1 we all gasped in shock and then sniggered a bit. Then Hernandez suffered the same plight in week 2 to throw the Mafia into chaos much to League mirth. So much so that Coach Conor has already called it quits ‘This sucks.....i'm off to the West Coast! Sh*ts gonna have to change! I am officially open to trade proposals’ he ranted after dropping to a franchise low 72 points. ‘CJ not OK’ is having a torrid time at the moment and needs to step it up against the Lions. Romo should return back to his Jekyll persona last seen against the Giants and help Dallas rout the Buccs. Tom Celek has been Vicks favourite target for the Beagles and could prove to be a more than able deputy for the crocked Hernandez.

Breaking news, the Rocks are still an enigma and Coach Lars was last seen at his after match press conference wearing his multi coloured fools hat again. Just one week after putting in the performance of the week the Rocks returned to who we thought they were and flopped against a resurgent Bears. Cam Newton has put a disappointing 10 points on the board this week from the early game and the Bones must look for big performances from Gore against a lowly Vikes defence and Johnson against the Broncos secondary. We like Pettigrew’s matchup against the Titans who have shown leaky coverage across the middle and look for the 49ers D to make a mess of a Ponder-ous Vikes offence.

With the Lottery and Ttttaylor seemingly in all sorts of turmoil the Central division is ripe for the picking and with a win already pocketed by both these teams a second win would give a clear advantage to the winner heading into the final round of the early divisional bouts. After dominating the CNFLE regular season last year will we find out more about Coach Conor’s stomach for a fight should it all start to fall apart?

VERDICT : ROCKS BY 6

HAIRY FROG DISCO v FEAR FACTORY

Coach Calum's Receiving Core.

All time series record : Factory lead 3-1

Last time out : Disco 107 – 133 Factory

Despite taking a mauling from some sections of the CNFLE press corps Coach Calum still remains upbeat about the Hairies chances, ‘I love my team’ he said. Perhaps he had been drinking. Both the Disco and the Factory won last week to tie up the South with all four teams at level pegging with one in the win column and one in the loss. Over the years the Factory have had the edge over the Disco, even in Season 2 when Botond’s hapless Factory scored the highest ever CNFLE weekly score to shock the League in a 4-10 season.

Coach Calum may be happy with his team but he surely can’t be happy to see star wideout Nicks unavailable for this critical divisional matchup leaving a huge hole to fill in the week 3 lineup. D-Mac could be in line for another rough week as the hapless Raiders face the Steel Curtain D. Is it time to call it quits on the former Razorback? The Disco will look for big games from rookie sensation and Michael Jackson wannabee, RG3 who is in line to start again after impressing last week against the Rams. Murray should control the game if Dallas get ahead in their home opener and will post a big total this week. Steve Johnson has a great chance to light up a Joe Haden less Browns secondary to add some receiving points.

Brees is good for around 25 points week in week out and against a Chiefs outfit that has struggled in both outings so far he should easily reach that target again. Benson will find it tough against the excellent ‘Hawks run stopping defence and Kevin Smith made the journey from Disco to Factory in the trade that took Don Brown the opposite way. What are the odds that that trade comes back to burn one of the Coaches come Sunday? Marshall will look to put last weeks one catch outing behind him against a porous Rams secondary. Coach Botond will need to keep an eye on the inactives this week with Garcon and Gates still questionable.

The South is wide open and after Coach Botond narrowly missed out to the Disco last year despite beating them twice there is unfinished business to take care of in this rivalry. The recent trade makes things interesting and the fact that Tynes kicked a handful of field goals and has already put 18 on the board makes the Factory clear favourites to extend their three game unbeaten stretch against the Disco to four.

VERDICT : FACTORY BY 11

FRENCH LEADER v SEVENTY NINE FC

Graham's Gloves.

All time series record : Niners lead 3-1

Last time out : Leader 86 – 71 Niners

After good week one wins, both Coaches came back down to earth with a thud in week two after losing the opportunity to maintain an unbeaten start with disappointing losses. Whilst Coach Martin can write the loss off as an ‘Ouch’ after Riggins went wild and scored a freakish 150+, Coach Laurent may be more concerned as the post draft favorites for the South failed to tally 100 or more for the second straight week.

Coach Laurent made a smart move this week when he handcuffed Steven Jackson with Richardson on the waiver wire. Whichever back gets the nod they should be in for a heavy workload as the Chi-town pass rush will prevent Bradford from holding the ball and need to get rid quick in the flat or by screen. Maclin is definitely out which gives another opportunity to rookie Blackmon who may find the going better against the Colts who have given up big plays already this year. Peterson looks like he is getting back to full speed but will struggle against the 49ers and the Seahawks will need to be as good as advertised to slow down the Packers. Tough matchups all round this week for the French.

With the Patriots so go Coach Martins Niners and a matchup against the Ravens never inspires confidence even if you are Tom Terrific. Brady will be efficient as usual but whether Lloyd or Ridley will be effective remains to be seen. LaFell was picked up off the waivers but unfortunately chose this week to have his worst game so far of this fledgling season. Albert Morris will be the key to Coach Martin’s charges posting a respectable score as he is up against a shaky Cincy defence. Graham will hope that last weeks catching issues are not a recurring theme for 2012 as his value could get hurt. This week Graham has an awesome matchup. Get some glue on them gloves!

Neither team has particularly good matchups this week so we expect this to be a low scorer, but the quality of the running backs and the presence of Megatron in the Leader lineup gives the Frenchman the edge unless of course he decides to go on holiday.

VERDICT : LEADER BY 6

Wins for the Polarbears, Swedes, Ttttaylor, Rocks, Factory and Leader this week which leaves the two unbeaten teams in the North and whilst its ridiculous to talk about perfect seasons it’s equally ridiculous to talk about winless seasons although the Lottery will slump to sit alone at 0 & 3.

Currently 66% of the League has an even record, which is even greater than the real NFL which has 62%. Talk about a tough league!

Print it, it’s a fact.

Joe Friday.

 

Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Super Swedes 4-7

Pauls Polarbears 5-6

Fear Factory Evens

Bone Rocks 7-4

French Leader 7-4

Ttttaylor 2-1

West Coast Mafia 2-1

Hairy Frog Disco 5-2

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 4-1

Autopick Warriors 4-1

Seventy Nine FC 4-1

It’s a Lottery 8-1

BREAKING NEWS

Rumours are circulating that the week 1 and week 2 previews were not written by Bob & Carl but by junior copywriter from the Cleveland Tribune, Joe Friday.  It is alleged that Bob & Carl are still rowing back and forth up the Amazon river looking for the mask of Hochuli to end the zebra dispute.  Fridays deadline will be Saturday.  Saturday will always be a day late, even when he plays on a Thursday.  Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Just the facts ma'am.

The Unbeaten Polarbears - The Week 2 Review

ITS A LOTTERY V SUPER SWEDES

An Uncertain World.

FANTASY PREDICTION - SWEDES BY 14

FANTASY REALITY - SWEDES BY 41.64

In an uncertain world thank goodness for the Lottery. Another appalling performance by the leagues most hapless franchise ensured that some things never change. Another sub 100pts performance led to an easy win for a surprisingly nervous coach Peter. The prematch QB controversy proved irrelevant, at least in the short turn, as Tim Tebow could have won this one for the Swedes. The Swedes appear to have a line up of consistent performers along with depth on the bench. Any post draft doubts have been dispelled following their 2 and 0 start to season 4. Week 3 sees the Swedes take on the Warriors giving them a chance to open up a 3 lead on a divisional rival.

TIM RIGGINS BENCH WARMERS V 79FC

Riggins, Bush and Spiller

FANTASY PREDICTION - BENCH WARMERS BY 7

FANTASY REALITY - BENCH WARMERS BY 63.82

It stated with 29pts from the Packers defence and it simply didn’t stop. What kind of alternative reality do we live in when Reggie Bush is the leading fantasy running back? Even the Bench Warmers bench went wild with RB Tate, QB Smith and WR Little all posting above average scores.

Seventy Nine just have to take this one and move on. If you could choose a week to score a lowly 91.04pts then it makes sense to do it when your opponent posts an almost unassailable 154.86pts. New RB Morris hasn’t taken to life outside the Disco swamplands and returned just 8.90pts whilst rookie RB Richardson fulfilled his promise to deliver against the Bungles. Expect Richardson to force his way into the Seventy Nine starting line up before the season is out. A bad trade, a poor performance, line up errors, questions marks are beginning to gather around the stewardship of Coach Martin.

PAULS POLARBEARS V THE BONES ROCKS

Alternative Reality.

FANTASY PREDICTION - ROCKS BY 10

FANTASY REALITY - POLARBEARS BY 50.78

What kind of alternative reality do we live in when I write and you read ‘the unbeaten Polarbears!’ Despite going against all the known rules of space and time, the Polarbears are indeed unbeaten. These are heady days for Coach Paul with his rebranded franchise as unpredictable as the great man himself. TE Finley 0.60pts, QB Manning 37.20pts but a team total 125.50pts will bring home the W more times than not. Could the Polarbears really be a credible threat to the Swedes divisional title? There week 3 match up against the Benchwarmers has game of the week written all over it.

After a free win in week 1 against the hapless Lottery the Bone Rocks will be disappointed with this lacklustre performance. Coach Lars needs to cut RB Greene who is, was and always will be a bust. The receiving core looks weak and the bench is shallow. Look, I know its only week 2 but I’m calling it. The Rocks will not make the playoffs!

TTTAYLOR V THE HAIRY FROG DISCO

How the mighty have fallen.

FANTASY PREDICTION - TTTAYLOR BY 9

FANTASY REALITY - DISCO BY 67.28

There is a certain sadness that comes from seeing the once mighty fall. Like the first time a seemingly unbeatable Mike Tyson was knocked out cold or when Pele just couldn’t keepy it uppy anymore. Now, it would appear, the silent one has flown to close too the sun, the wax on his wings melting away, a spectacular fall to earth has begun. 49.66pts is the lowest score in league history. It is, quite frankly, embarrassing. Ttttaylor now stand at a previously unthinkable 0 – 2. No team has ever made the playoffs from a 0-2 start. Not once. Never in fact. But if coach, if one team is capable of making that happen its Ttttaylor.

Coach Calum went trade crazy this week and came up trumps with the trade of the season. QB Griffin danced his way to 32.44pts and helped the Disco to their first win of the season. Whilst it has been publicly stated that Washington signal caller will be called upon on a match up basis only you can expect those match ups to be favourable here on in. Despite the win, the Disco still look a weaker outfit than last season’s Carltonbowl finalists. Coach Calum appears to be seconding guessing himself when calling his line up and the trade frenzy would suggest that a degree of uncertainly surrounds the Swamplands franchise.

WEST COAST MAFIA V FEAR FACTORY

Eliot Ness.

FANTASY PREDICTION - MAFIA BY 1

FANTASY REALITY - FACTORY BY 8.54PTS

The West Coast Mafia meet their Eliot Ness this week in the form of the Fear Factroy. Many have been questioning Coach Botond’s erratic diet as deep hunger pangs appear to be affecting performance. WR Ogletree looks to be a one week wonder, TE Gates knees have clearly gone and RB Brown is never going to give you more than 5pts. You have to wonder wether Coach Botond has the stomach for the battles that lie ahead.

Never have the Mafia looked so impotent. Why did Coach Cullen draft RB Johnson with Spiller and Bush still on the board? Where is the cover at TE now that Hernandez is out for at least a month? The only positive for the Mafia is that the Central is looking like the weakest division in the league although if they keep posting scores of 72.34pts they could struggle to beat the laughing stock that is Ttttaylor.

AUTOPICK WARRIORS V FRENCH LEADER

Coach Conor.

FANTASY PREDICTION - WARRIORS BY 3

FANTASY REALITY - WARRIORS BY 22.36

The Warriors stay afloat with this win against a disappointing French Leader. QB Rivers 28.26pts and WR Bowe 25.20pts led the way but the Warriors still look like a very average outfit. They are a team without starts, a team that its difficult to get excited by, they are the Bungels of CNFLE. They will lose their Week 3 match up against the Super Swedes and fall again in Week 4 to the Bench Warmers after which they will be largely irrelevant.

French Leader left the win on the bench and should have known better than to trust the Cowboys D above the Seahawks. WR Blackmon was always on a hiding to nothing against a superb Texan D with both Maclin and Williams facing easier match ups. Coach Laurent needs to correct these errors of face another defeat to the Seventy Nine in week 3.

Good Call

The Benchwarmers. Reggie Bush, CJ Spiller, WR Cruz and the Packers D

Bad Call

Seventy Nine FC. The Griffin for Morris Trade.

 On The Board.

Griffin 32.44pts

Vick 27.24pts.

Times they are a changing. The leagues only unbeaten teams reside in the North. The Central, once the group of death, now looks like the group of the dead and the Disco prop up the South. Is this just a passing fad or the shape of things to come?

Good luck gentlemen

Jim Marrs