JUST THE FACTS MA'AM

JUST THE FACTS MA’AM

Contrary to recent reports, Ttttaylor’s week 2 score of 49 is not in fact the lowest score in CNFLE history. In Season 2 the hapless Fear Factory under Botond’s stewardship accrued a measly 46.4 points. However it should be noted that the most abysmal weekly showing occurred in Season 3 when the then champions Seventy Nine FC posted a shameful score of 41.96 against fellow strugglers Lottery.

Print It. It’s a Fact!

GAME OF THE WEEK

PAULS POLARBEARS v  BENCH WARMERS

Pauls Polarbears.  Thursday, Sunday, Happy Days.

All time series record : Riggins lead 3-1

Last time out : Baptists 64 – 128 Riggins

After the debacle of Season 3, who would have thought that the top game in week 3 would contain either the Polarbears or the Bench Warmers who totaled a paltry 7 wins between them. No matter what the result is between the two the season 4 win total will have reached 50% already in a significantly improved campaign for both. The move towards the Arctic Circle has certainly done Coach Paul the world of good and after two weeks the ‘Bears are one of only two teams who have a perfect record. Coach Richard watched in wonder last week as his team ripped apart a Seventy Nine team in the early games as late round picks Bush and Spiller ran wild. Even the Bench Warmers bench warmers had bumper weeks which lead to speculation that trade winds may be circling.

The advent of Thursday night games from the seasons start means that many players will have already have scored by the time of going to press and this week is the turn of the Polarbears signal caller Eli Manning to post his numbers on the board. After routing the Panthers Manning put up a decent but not spectacular 18 point total. The Riggins signal caller had a rare down week last time out so don’t expect a repeat performance although the Seattle defence looks to be a very useful unit this season. With the possibility of running plays being eliminated from the Packers playbook due to the Hawks run stuffing capabilities, Rodgers will likely throw 40+ times and should be looking for a score over 25 this week. EDGE : RIGGINS

The Bears used their waiver pick to perfection this week when they scooped up Andre Brown who was filling in for the injured Bradshaw in the Giants backfield. 28 points later and all the Coaches who had an earlier waiver priority were doing passable impressions of Homer Simpson. Doh! With Foster as the second back this week facing a Del Rio coached Denver D a similar total is entirely conceivable. Riggins running backs ran like wild horses last week and more of the same will be expected from Spiller & Bush who also ended last year on fire. It looks like Coach Richard was paying keen attention after all despite the sophomore slump. Spiller faces the Browns who will struggle without Haden in the secondary. Given CJOK’s recent form expect big numbers here. Bush will have a harder time against a Jets defence that will be better at closing down the sole Miami weapon than the Raiders were. The bonus for Riggins though is that Reggie is finally living up to his potential and is showing the Saints what they could have won if they stopped with all this committee nonsense. EDGE : BEARS

As good as the backs are there is an element of uncertainty about the wideouts for the Polarbears this week. Roddy White is the clear #2 in Atlanta now and with Gonzo and Rodgers snaffling plays as well he will do well to get a handful of looks his way so must produce to keep Ryan interested. Jennings is coming back from a groin strain but adds more weaponry to the Packers arsenal and has scored in 6 of the last seven road games. Harvin is the wildcard this week as he will be used in a variety of formations to keep an excellent 49ers D on their toes. It’s difficult to see big numbers here. Coach Richard must have rubbed his hands with glee when he saw that his 28 point receiver Cruz was up against a leaky panther secondary, but with Nicks out, the corners double teamed Cruz and stifled the wideout for Big Blue forcing Eli to look elsewhere to return a miserable 4 points this week. Dez Bryant will need to help out this week and has a great matchup against the Bucs in Dallas home opener. Floyd has been a revelation in San Diego this year and although he has a tough matchup against the Falcons has scored a TD or got 100+ yards in 8 of the last 10 games. EDGE : RIGGINS

Once again the Thursday game has set the Polarbear bar high with Martellus Bennett (another excellent waiver wire pick up for Coach Paul) posting a superb 15 points. Fred Davis has yet to get going this season but has an excellent opportunity this week against a porous Bungles defence, although RG3 does seem to be looking elsewhere when he drops back to throw. EDGE : BEARS

Akers is a top tier kicker and will get plenty of opportunity to kick points when the 49ers face the Vikes, however they may be of the single digit variety this week though. The Lions D has produced on a regular basis this season and last, and the matchup against a Titan team with ‘CJ not OK’ averaging just 1.1 yards on his 20 carries so far this season is a mouthwatering prospect. Coach Richard will be hoping Manning senior has more success than previous QB’s against a Houston D to place Prater in position to pick up points. The Packers provided a plethora of points last week and against rookie signal caller Russell Wilson will be hoping to put up good numbers again! EDGE : EVEN

Despite the fast start from Pauls Polarbears this match is far from over. Much will depend on how many points Foster puts up and whether Reggie Bush is the real deal or can only make hay only against the weaker defences. Notwithstanding a potential comeback from Riggins, the points already in the bag for the Bears make the current advantage to good to ignore and we like the Bears to go 3 & 0 baby. So what alternate reality have we stumbled into then?

VERDICT : BEARS BY 10

AUTOPICK WARRIORS v SUPER SWEDES

Mathews.  First Start?

All time series record : Series tied 2-2

Last time out : Royale 131 – 147 Swedes

In any other week a matchup between an unbeaten team and their divisional rival just one game behind would be a candidate for GOTW, however such is the form of the other two teams in the North that the matchup between the current division champs and the pre season division favourite can only take second billing. Both teams won last week and the way the Swedes dispatched the Lottery was particularly impressive. After opening day disappointment and being written off by certain sections of the CNFLE media, Autopicks were glad to record their first win of the season with an impressive win over Bone Rocks. Neither team has recorded a score from the Thursday game.

The big news for the Warriors is that Ryan Mathews could be in line for his first start against the Falcons this weekend. It could be an easier matchup but getting the crocked running back on the field is a step in the right direction for the temporarily rebranded franchise. Wideouts Bowe and Green have great matchups this week, and could post major stat lines, especially our start of the week, AJ Green who is facing a Redskins defence that will be without some big name starters this week. Look for the Bears to maul the Rams this week and add some welcome bonus points from the D.

Coach Peter must be pleased with his first two games, but this matchup is a real challenge and the North looks to be particularly strong this year after a couple of seasons in the doldrums, which is what the Swedes hope will happen to Matt Stafford this week who has underwhelming thus far. The Lions signal caller has a great matchup this week. Elsewhere The Law Firm has been dropped to the bench this week in favour of McGahee. Lets hope this decision doesn’t come back to haunt the Swedes as Ellis has a good matchup against a depleted Redskins D. Amendola could be the 2012 Welker but will surely find things tougher against the Bears than he did last week. Don’t expect 15 catches this time out. Wayne should be good for a high score against the Jags who appear to be weaker on the D than last year.

Falling two games behind the leader at any time of the season is not ideal and it is conceivable that the Warriors could be that margin in deficit to both the Bears and Swedes come the end of the Monday night. A win here for the Swedes and it could set up a fantastic battle of the unbeaten teams next week. Television rights have already been secured in anticipation. This game is a week to early for Mathews despite Greens heroics and Stafford proves to be the difference.

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 7

TTTTAYLOR v IT’S A LOTTERY

The Toilet Bowl.  New Home Of The Lottery?

All time series record : Ttttaylor leads 4-0

Last time out : Ttttaylor 113 – 80 Lottery

The first Toilet Bowl of the Season pits regular participants It’s a Lottery against last years Champion in what would have been a gimme in years gone by. The Lottery have never beaten Ttttaylor and have won only 1 of the past 13 divisional contests. Can things get any worse for Coach Jonathon after last weeks debacle? Well yes of course it can, they could lose to the Lottery!

Steve Smith has already contributed 8.6 points which pro rata means that Ttttaylor could hit the heady heights of almost 90 points which should just about see off their week 3 opponent. With Bradshaw ruled out, Saints back Ingram gets the nod, although don’t expect him to rip up any trees as both Thomas & Sproles look good for work as well. Charles has a great opportunity to prove that he is back to 100% against a Saints D which has allowed an average of 150 yards through the first two games. Expect a rebound from Julio Jones this week after his historic condition of Alabama Dropsy resurfaced. Coach Jonathon has made an interesting choice in picking up the Browns defence this week who face the Bills. Last week it all went horribly wrong when the Chiefs were selected based on their matchup against… you guessed it, the Bills!

Ok, the first thing here is to think positive, breathe and then don’t panic. Statistically the Lottery are the weakest team, but statistics can lie. On paper Lottery the team looks thin at the skill positions, but remember the game isn’t played on paper. On the plus side Coach Andy is the third best Coach listed in the Coach rankings. Whether that merely highlights the relative weakness on the bench is a debate for another day, but it’s something to start to work with. A team based on Denver playmakers will have a tough time this week against the Texans, so Coach Andy has decided that there is no place for Peyton and what he needs is a little bit of Luck. With Hernandez ruled out for the Pats we like Welker to receive a bump in his numbers. See, things are looking up already.

We could try and rationalize how Lottery could make a game of it and they could, after all on any given Sunday any team could beat any other and if Ttttaylor repeats the woeful performance of week 2 then we would certainly give the Lottery half a chance, but lightning doesn’t strike twice and the mass waiver claims in midweek suggest that there is still work to be done for the Commish’s comrades.

VERDICT : TTTTAYLOR BY 14

BONE ROCKS v WEST COAST MAFIA

Coach Lars.

All time series record : Series tied 1-1

                                            Last time out : Rocks 123 – 120 Dnickman

This matchup pits the two top teams in the Central, however after sub par performances from both last week and the seeming shift in fortunes for the teams in the Central it all feels a little flat and the question now is ‘who wants to repair their reputation and take control of the division?’

After Forte went down with a high ankle sprain in week 1 we all gasped in shock and then sniggered a bit. Then Hernandez suffered the same plight in week 2 to throw the Mafia into chaos much to League mirth. So much so that Coach Conor has already called it quits ‘This sucks.....i'm off to the West Coast! Sh*ts gonna have to change! I am officially open to trade proposals’ he ranted after dropping to a franchise low 72 points. ‘CJ not OK’ is having a torrid time at the moment and needs to step it up against the Lions. Romo should return back to his Jekyll persona last seen against the Giants and help Dallas rout the Buccs. Tom Celek has been Vicks favourite target for the Beagles and could prove to be a more than able deputy for the crocked Hernandez.

Breaking news, the Rocks are still an enigma and Coach Lars was last seen at his after match press conference wearing his multi coloured fools hat again. Just one week after putting in the performance of the week the Rocks returned to who we thought they were and flopped against a resurgent Bears. Cam Newton has put a disappointing 10 points on the board this week from the early game and the Bones must look for big performances from Gore against a lowly Vikes defence and Johnson against the Broncos secondary. We like Pettigrew’s matchup against the Titans who have shown leaky coverage across the middle and look for the 49ers D to make a mess of a Ponder-ous Vikes offence.

With the Lottery and Ttttaylor seemingly in all sorts of turmoil the Central division is ripe for the picking and with a win already pocketed by both these teams a second win would give a clear advantage to the winner heading into the final round of the early divisional bouts. After dominating the CNFLE regular season last year will we find out more about Coach Conor’s stomach for a fight should it all start to fall apart?

VERDICT : ROCKS BY 6

HAIRY FROG DISCO v FEAR FACTORY

Coach Calum's Receiving Core.

All time series record : Factory lead 3-1

Last time out : Disco 107 – 133 Factory

Despite taking a mauling from some sections of the CNFLE press corps Coach Calum still remains upbeat about the Hairies chances, ‘I love my team’ he said. Perhaps he had been drinking. Both the Disco and the Factory won last week to tie up the South with all four teams at level pegging with one in the win column and one in the loss. Over the years the Factory have had the edge over the Disco, even in Season 2 when Botond’s hapless Factory scored the highest ever CNFLE weekly score to shock the League in a 4-10 season.

Coach Calum may be happy with his team but he surely can’t be happy to see star wideout Nicks unavailable for this critical divisional matchup leaving a huge hole to fill in the week 3 lineup. D-Mac could be in line for another rough week as the hapless Raiders face the Steel Curtain D. Is it time to call it quits on the former Razorback? The Disco will look for big games from rookie sensation and Michael Jackson wannabee, RG3 who is in line to start again after impressing last week against the Rams. Murray should control the game if Dallas get ahead in their home opener and will post a big total this week. Steve Johnson has a great chance to light up a Joe Haden less Browns secondary to add some receiving points.

Brees is good for around 25 points week in week out and against a Chiefs outfit that has struggled in both outings so far he should easily reach that target again. Benson will find it tough against the excellent ‘Hawks run stopping defence and Kevin Smith made the journey from Disco to Factory in the trade that took Don Brown the opposite way. What are the odds that that trade comes back to burn one of the Coaches come Sunday? Marshall will look to put last weeks one catch outing behind him against a porous Rams secondary. Coach Botond will need to keep an eye on the inactives this week with Garcon and Gates still questionable.

The South is wide open and after Coach Botond narrowly missed out to the Disco last year despite beating them twice there is unfinished business to take care of in this rivalry. The recent trade makes things interesting and the fact that Tynes kicked a handful of field goals and has already put 18 on the board makes the Factory clear favourites to extend their three game unbeaten stretch against the Disco to four.

VERDICT : FACTORY BY 11

FRENCH LEADER v SEVENTY NINE FC

Graham's Gloves.

All time series record : Niners lead 3-1

Last time out : Leader 86 – 71 Niners

After good week one wins, both Coaches came back down to earth with a thud in week two after losing the opportunity to maintain an unbeaten start with disappointing losses. Whilst Coach Martin can write the loss off as an ‘Ouch’ after Riggins went wild and scored a freakish 150+, Coach Laurent may be more concerned as the post draft favorites for the South failed to tally 100 or more for the second straight week.

Coach Laurent made a smart move this week when he handcuffed Steven Jackson with Richardson on the waiver wire. Whichever back gets the nod they should be in for a heavy workload as the Chi-town pass rush will prevent Bradford from holding the ball and need to get rid quick in the flat or by screen. Maclin is definitely out which gives another opportunity to rookie Blackmon who may find the going better against the Colts who have given up big plays already this year. Peterson looks like he is getting back to full speed but will struggle against the 49ers and the Seahawks will need to be as good as advertised to slow down the Packers. Tough matchups all round this week for the French.

With the Patriots so go Coach Martins Niners and a matchup against the Ravens never inspires confidence even if you are Tom Terrific. Brady will be efficient as usual but whether Lloyd or Ridley will be effective remains to be seen. LaFell was picked up off the waivers but unfortunately chose this week to have his worst game so far of this fledgling season. Albert Morris will be the key to Coach Martin’s charges posting a respectable score as he is up against a shaky Cincy defence. Graham will hope that last weeks catching issues are not a recurring theme for 2012 as his value could get hurt. This week Graham has an awesome matchup. Get some glue on them gloves!

Neither team has particularly good matchups this week so we expect this to be a low scorer, but the quality of the running backs and the presence of Megatron in the Leader lineup gives the Frenchman the edge unless of course he decides to go on holiday.

VERDICT : LEADER BY 6

Wins for the Polarbears, Swedes, Ttttaylor, Rocks, Factory and Leader this week which leaves the two unbeaten teams in the North and whilst its ridiculous to talk about perfect seasons it’s equally ridiculous to talk about winless seasons although the Lottery will slump to sit alone at 0 & 3.

Currently 66% of the League has an even record, which is even greater than the real NFL which has 62%. Talk about a tough league!

Print it, it’s a fact.

Joe Friday.

 

Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Super Swedes 4-7

Pauls Polarbears 5-6

Fear Factory Evens

Bone Rocks 7-4

French Leader 7-4

Ttttaylor 2-1

West Coast Mafia 2-1

Hairy Frog Disco 5-2

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 4-1

Autopick Warriors 4-1

Seventy Nine FC 4-1

It’s a Lottery 8-1