Sunday 16 December 2012

CONTINENTAL EUROPE - THE POST SEASON PREVIEW





So finally, at last, the playoffs are once again amongst us. As is tradition, the first week of post season play witnesses the first round of end of season back slapping, and it is with great admiration that we acknowledge Coaches Peter, Lars and Laurent as the three divisional winners. A Continental European sweep it should be noted.

It is also at this time that the award for the best League record is begrudgingly handed over from Dnickman to the Super Swedes who posted an excellent 10-4 record despite dropping to 4-3 at the midway point of the season and also winning their last five games to enter the playoffs as the hottest team in the CNFLE.

However, although the trophy for the most points scored takes a similar path away from Dnickman in the Emerald Isle it winds up this time not in Scandinavia, but through Le Tunnel sous la Manche, into mainland Europe and into the cabinet of our sole Gallic representative, French Leader who mustered an impressive 1638 points total.

But whilst the plaudits are certainly welcome at this stage, it should be noted that the biggest prize of all has yet to be dished out, and as history has shown us that things don’t work out too well in post season play for the team that performs best over the past 14 weeks.

In Season I, It’s a Lottery (yes I know, difficult to imagine it!) scooped both the points scored and best season record on the back of a Manning -DeAngelo Williams combo, but saw their 11-3 regular season effort fall to nothing against the eventual winners, The Enforcers in the first playoff round.

Season II witnessed the League restructuring that we are still enjoying today and the new blood certainly made a difference as Tim Riggins Bench Warmers racked up a record equaling 11 yet were trounced by Ttttaylor, whilst the now defunct Yoda from Wales posted 1632 points but fell to Coach Martin, both reverses coming in the first round of the playoffs.

Last season, first year Coach and part time potty mouth pixie, Coach Cullen, took both awards with a 10-4 season record and also posted a new single season Carlton record of 1671 points. His vocal self congratulation was cut short quickly however as Coach Ttttaylor exacted revenge en-route to CNFLE III glory. Once again this defeat occured, you’ve guessed it, in the first round of the playoffs.

So whilst a collective doff of the cap should be forthcoming by the remaining ten CNFLE affiliates to the direction of Coaches Peter and Laurent, history clearly shows us that the destination of the famous trophy is far from being a foregone conclusion. If anything, the previous years illustrate that the final may be destined to be a battle between the Bears and the Bones!

(4) PAULS POLARBEARS (9-5) v (1) SUPER SWEDES (10-4)




Coach Paul never had any doubt whatsoever that his Bears team would make the playoffs despite turning a 6-1 halfway record into a 9-5 end of term report card and needing to rely on a win against basement club Ttttaylor to guarantee a post season berth. Cue a return to form in week 14 and an impressive return of 135 points to stick two fingers up at all those pundits who had suggested that the Bears would bottle it.

With the division already sewn up, Coach Peter cantered through their final match against a flailing West Coast Mafia posting a decent total of 117. More impressive was the fact that this was the Swedes fifth straight win to ensure that they made the playoffs for the second consecutive season, both times as Divisional champs.

Having holstered the red rifle on the bench, the Bears hopes hinge on which Eli turns up this week. The Giants need to win to keep their ‘real life’ playoff hopes on track and last weeks multi TD performance certainly was encouraging however the Falcons are a different proposition to the hapless Saints secondary which were put to the sword last week. Coach Paul will also hope that Bennett continues to see the majority of Eli’s second and third reads. Foster should be good for a 20 point return against the Colts, but much will depend for the Bears on whether Ryan can get the ball downfield against a savage Giants pass rush. If Matty Ice can keep cool then Roddy White is in line for a big, big day.

The Swedes have already amassed nearly a half century of points following the Thursday night game after the Law Firm and Bungles D continued their recent good form. Beast Mode is in line for a big day against a soft Buffalo D and with the strong Seahawks D, could be starting drives with great field position. The receivers all have mediocre matchups this week but Moss’s potential production will rest with whether RGIII is able to go. Both Houston & Baltimore have been poor against the pass in recent weeks which may give Wayne & Thomas an opportunity to shine.

The regular season series between these two divisional foes was shared 1-1 with the Bears edging it in the first round of matches and the Swedes demolishing Coach Paul’s charges in the rematch. Coach Peter ended up disappointed after his first foray into the post season last year but should extend his Season IV winning streak to 6 and give Europe it’s first Carltonbowl finalist.

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 14

(3) THE BONE ROCKS (8-6) v (2) FRENCH LEADER (9-5)



In spite of overwhelming odds at the start of the season and continual expressions of doubt from most sections of the media, Coach Lars and his Bone Rocks have made the playoffs for the first time in his three year stint as head coach after narrowly missing out in Seasons II & III. As Champions of the Central, Coach Lars matched his win / loss record from the previous two years, however this year, due to the paucity in quality of the rest of the division, it was enough to carry the title by a clear three games.


After missing out on the final weekend last year due to a mid season scouting mission, Coach Laurent vowed to make amends this time round. A great draft saw the Leader installed as one of the pre season favourites both for the South and for the ultimate prize. In a division that yielded no losing records, the title was up for grabs right up until the end of week 13, when only a miraculous set of events could have prevented Carlton’s own Napoleon from taking the honours. The week 14 victory for the Leader against the Bones will have given Laurent some heart, but he must be worried that his team have peaked too early after posting a massive 161 points last week.

Is there a QB controversy in Bone-land? Shaub has a good looking matchup against the Colts but SuperCam’s return to form earns him the QB#1 spot for this match. Fig Newton has a great looking matchup against a slumping Chargers who are waiting for Norv to get the bullet. Elsewhere for the Rocks, it’s all about the Saints – Buccs matchup as four of the remaining 8 players will be pulled from that game. Coach Lars will be hoping for a high scoring festive bonanza! Look out for Doc Martin to rip the Saints to shreds. Dre Johnson will look to get back to his midseason form against a Colts D that has been susceptible against the deep ball. Is Shonn Greene in line for a shock recall to the starting line up?

After last weeks performance, Coach Laurent will be reluctant to change a winning formula, but lightning very rarely strikes twice, and Eagles receiver, Maclin’s sub par performance on Thursday is testament to that. Many more of those kinds of hangover performances and we could be saying au revoir to the Gallic challenge! Big news is that after last weeks return to action, Big Ben gets the nod over Colin ‘Keystone Kops’ Kaepernik, although it should be noted the Dallas secondary are no pushovers. Peterson and Jackson face off against each other which could be good for neither as both defences have been pretty stingy against the run. Which leaves Megatron. What price on the Madden Curse returning just at the wrong moment?

This is a close game to call, Tough! In fact it could come down to the old mantra, ‘defences win championships’ and with the Bones seemingly sticking with his beloved Niners in the face of the Patriot missiles, the edge in this department is clearly with the Seahawks who will chase down Professor Fitzpatrick. But even then it could go either way!

VERDICT : ROCKS BY 1

So then Season IV becomes a Valhalla Bowl as both Peter and Lars negotiate tricky playoff matches to make Carltonbowl IV next week.
Don’t shoot the messenger.

Just the facts ma’am.




Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Super Swedes 4-7
Bone Rocks 5-4

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