Sunday, 16 December 2012

HOW WAS IT FOR FOR? THE SEASON 4 REVIEW

HOW WAS IT FOR YOU?



LEAGUE AVERAGE PTS FOR : 104.83
LEAGUE AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 104.83


LLLLOSERS



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 12

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 95.57 (12)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 112.19 (2)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1549
ACTUAL SCORE : 1338
DRAFT GRADE : B

SEASON V DRAFT POSITION 1

So Coach Taylor falls from the top of the pile to the bottom in one effortless season. An attempt to emulate last seasons QB / WR combo failed as Ryan and Jones are clearly a huge downgrade from Stafford and Megatron. Things could have been oh so different for the Lllosers. In 4 of the first 7 game weeks they lost by less than a single touchdown. With a bit of luck Coach Talyor could have been 6 and 1 and the half way stage. Week 8 saw the Super Swedes hand out the beating of the season and from there on in the Lllosers were a broken team. Despite finishing last, bottom of the pile and being crowned the league's worst team, Coach Taylor will start season 5 as the hot favourite to regain his title. Peterson, Foster or Rogers, the Llllosers can take their pick.

WEST COAST MAFIA



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSION 10

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 99.24 (9)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 105.41 (5)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1414
ACTUAL SCORE : 1389
DRAFT GRADE : C-

SEASON V DRAFT POSTION 2

Last season the West Coach Mafia, completing under the guise of Dnickman, stunned the league with a season long rant and a run all the way to the playoffs. In Coach Cullen's second season reality hit hard and the Potty Mouthed Pixed spent most of his time sulking quietly in corner. Romo proved to a liability all season even when Dallas all but abandoned the running game. A four game losing streak did for the Mafia and their Coach just didn't have the wherewithal to turn it around. With one season of brilliance and one of complete dross season 5 will go a long way to determine whether Coach Cullen has what it takes to complete at the highest level of fantasy football.

THE LOTTERY



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 4

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 101.64 (8)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST: 112.53 (1)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1547
ACTUAL SCORE: 1423
DRAFT GRADE : B-
SEASON V DRAFT POSTION 3

Great things were expected of the Lottery following what was widely considered as a good draft and they duly delivered with their best season since official records began. Six and wins and second in their division was proof, if proof where indeed needed, that Coach Andy is finally finding his fantasy stride. It took longer than usual but sure enough the Lottiers number 1 pick fell to an injury, MJD also crashed out less than half way through the campaign, Big Ben's injury completely nullified the threat of both Wallace and Milner but other than that if was a trouble free campaign for the commissioners favourite team. Despite their recording breaking season the Lottery will draft a place lower than their usual 4th come season 5. With rumours of an off season franchise rebrand Coach Andy is one to watch.

AUTOPICK DISAPPOINTMENTS



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 6

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 104.59 (6)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST: 100.62 (10)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1664
ACTUAL SCORE : 1464
DRAFT GRADE : A+

SEASON V DRAFT POSITION 4

It all started with the draft as Coach Conor's Amstrad 646 PC and his 56k modem failed to cope with the demands of modern day fantasy football. The results was an autopicked team that included the likes of Rivers, Rice, Fitzgerld, Green and the Bears. But instead of celebrating a strong draft Coach Conor immediately turned on his team and the wounds he opened failed to heal throughout the rest of the season. At the half way point the Autopicks were 4-3 and in the middle of the playoff pack but the Coach Conor failed to react to Rivers decline and a 4 game losing streak at the turn saw their hopes fade and die. There is a strong case to be made that Coach Conor under performed this season as he was unable to get past his draft day disaster. With the personnel at his disposal and a lack of meaningful injuries all season long Autopick should have remained relevant.

HAIRY FROG DISCO



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 11

AVERAGE PTS FOR 98.19 (11)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST 101.17 (8)
PREDICTED SCORE: 1584
ACTUAL SCORE : 1374
DRAFT GRADE : B

SEASON V DRAFT POSITION 5

The Disco's luck finally ran out this season as a series of injuries to key players almost led to their first losing season in franchise history. 'First round choice D-mac who has only touched the ball more than 130 times once in the last four seasons due to his injury record. More brittle selections occurred in round 3 and then again in round four with Hakeem (foot) Nicks and Michael Vick (heart)' Yes indeed, the draft day review had seen it all coming. Run DMC didn't, Murry wasn't mint and Vick was every inch the man we all thought he was. The Disco finished bottom in what turned out to be the league's toughest division despite the fact putting together a 4 game win streak bettered only by the number 1 ranked Super Swedes. Truth be told this was exactly the season Coach Calum needed. Students of the league will remember that the Disco suffered the ultimate heartbreak in last season's Carltonbowl. It's a well established fact that after a heartbreak you are entitled to go off the rails for a bit before returning stronger than every before. Expect the Disco to fall back in love with the playoffs come season 5.





FEAR FACTORY



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 5

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 98.63 (10)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 107.66 (4)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1545
ACTUAL SCORE : 1380
DRAFT GRADE : C+

SEASON V DRAFT POSITION 6

Another season of what might have been for our resident Hungarian wolf farmer. The lack of production at running back did for a Factory Team that at one stage still managed to put together a four game winning streak and looked a near certainly for a post season berth. Jennings, Leshoure, Jackson, Green, Coach Botond kept searching but just couldn't find any rushing consistency. Drees still delivered in the face of a bountyless Saints season, the receiving core posted good numbers and the defensive rotation provide successful but those darn running back just wouldn't deliver. Many believe that Coach Botond's time will come but for now its a long wait until season 5.



SEVENTYNINE FC



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 11

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 103.64 (7)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 103.52 (6)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1543
ACTUAL SCORE : 1451
DRAFT GRADE : C+

SEASON V DRAFT PICK 7

Coach Martin top and tailed his season in an ill fitting suit of controversy. It began in the pre-season with the proposal of transforming CNFLE into a keeper league. Battles lines were drawn and a fierce debate ensued. The biggest concern was that a keeper league would need the complete commitment of all concerned, something CNFLE coaches have always proudly displayed in buckets. Fast forward to the back end of the season and its only the very same Coach Martin that threatened to throw the league into disarray by fielding a series of inactive players! This was made all the more incredulous by the fact that 79FC looked to be heading into the post season and a possibly historic second Carltonbowl! Rumours reached the league of trouble in the Coach's private life that had resulted in the termination of his broadband connection! As we have already seen with the Autopick Disappoints there must be harmony in all areas of the franchise for success to materialise. We wish Coach Martin all the best for the off season and trust he will return in season with a fibre optic connection and his head in the game.

THE BONE ROCKS



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 7

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 107.31 (5)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 99.85 (11)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1494
ACTUAL SCORE : 1502
DRAFT GRADE : C

SEASON V DRAFT PICK : UNCLASSIFIED

Dismissed by most of the league following an average looking draft the Rocks benefited from a surprisingly weak central division to head into the post season for the first time in their history. No team had a weaker schedule with the Rocks only needing an average 99.85pts to claim a win but to give the Rocks their due they cleared that bar with plenty to spare and had been on a 5 game win streak before their final week reversal against the Leader. Neweton has found form at just the right time and rookie Martin has proved to be one of the stand out picks of the season. Gore and the 49ers D have done the job all season long and even Crabtree has stepped up to the plate on a few occasions. The Rocks will now be seeking immediate revenge on the Leader for the that week 14 defeat. Whilst Peterson could easily post another 30pt haul we feel that that's the last 53pt return we'll ever see from the Seahawks D. Big Ben was back and impressive for the Steelers and could replace Kaepernick. Then again the thought of defeating the Rocks with their own beloved 49ers signal caller at the helm could be to much for the Leader to resist. ' With the Swedes proving the doubters wrong in the North we could be looking at an all Swedish final.' Foretold the week 11 preview. A Valhalla and Carltonbowl end of season spectacular? What are the odds?


THE BENCH WARMERS



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 3

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 108.36 (4)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 102.45 (9)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1596
ACTUAL SCORE : 1517
DRAFT GRADE : B+

SEASON V DRAFT PICK : 8


What a strange season for the Bench Warmers are they yo-yoed from victory to defeat and back again. This was the one time rookies third season in CNFLE having made the playoffs at his first attempt. Last season they finished a disappointing 10th and many in the media were happy to write off Coach Richard as a one season wonder. What then do we made of his 4th place regular season? Well, for one, you'd think finishing fourth would be enough for a place in the post season but due to the strength of this years Northern division the Bench Warmers miss out. It must be a little like being a Spurs fan.
Perhaps the most frustrating aspect of Coach Richard's season has been his inability to make the most of possible trades and a criminal lack of activity on the waiver wire. It would appear that Coach Richard has an eye for a good draft but his lack of focus over what is a short fantasy season will continue to cost him for as long as he chooses to suit up.


                                                           PAULS POLARBEARS



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 1

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 108.69 (3)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 101.46 (7)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1661
ACTUAL SCORE : 1521
DRAFT GRADE : A

                                         SEASON V DRAFT PICK : UNCLASSIFIED

Coach Pauls policy of missing the live draft finally paid off as his auopicked rebranded franchise takes it first tentative steps into the post season. The Polarbears opened on a record breaking 5 game win streak before a crisis of confidence hit mid-season set against the backdrop of unfairly harsh criticism from the press. Coach Paul came out fighting and pointed to his many astute picks from the wire (coach Richard take note!) and calmly steered his team to the playoffs.
Questions have to remain however as we will never know the team that would have taken to the field had Coach Paul remembered to switch his computer on back in late August. Will there be a break with tradition in season 5? Will Coach Paul finally attend a live draft?


                                                               FRENCH LEADER



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 8

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 117.06 (1)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 112.09 (3)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1599
ACTUAL SCORE : 1638
DRAFT GRADE : A-

                                    SEASON V DRAFT POSITION UNCLASSIFIED

How did we miss French Leader? They topped the Southern Division, a division in which the bottom team finished with a 7-7 record. They scored more points than any other team in the entire league and finished with a 9-5 record despite having the third toughest schedule. So where was the love for the French Leader?
Coach Laurent was the only Coach man enough to roll the dice on Peterson and that particular gamble paid off in yards...and yards and yards. Big Ben has had a decent enough fantasy season and Kaepernick did enough when Ben was out. Johnson has found his stride late in the season, perfect timing for the fantasy playoffs. Could the golden Carltonbowl trophy be heading for France?


Comment avons-nous manqué le chef français ? Ils ont complété la Division du sud, une division dans laquelle l'équipe inférieure a fini avec un disque 7-7. Ils ont marqué plus de points que n'importe quelle autre équipe dans la ligue entière et ont fini avec un disque 9-5 en dépit de avoir le troisième programme le plus dur. Ainsi où l'amour était-il pour le chef français ?\nL'entraîneur Laurent était le seul assez homme d'entraîneur pour rouler les matrices sur Peterson et ce jeu particulier a payé dans les yards… et les yards et les yards.
Big Ben a eu assez convenable une saison d'imagination et Kaepernick a fait assez quand Ben était. Johnson a trouvé son pas en retard pendant la saison, synchronisation parfaite pour les finales d'imagination. Le trophée d'or de Carltonbowl a-t-il pu se diriger pour des Frances ?

                                                                SUPER SWEDES



SEASON IIII DRAFT POSITION 9

AVERAGE PTS FOR : 115.02 (2)
AVERAGE PTS AGAINST : 98.96 (12)
PREDICTED SCORE : 1559
ACTUAL SCORE : 1610
DRAFT GRADE : B-



                                   SEASON V DRAFT POSITION UNCLASSIFIED

Since official records began only three team have delivered a record of 10 wins or more in a regular season. In Season 3, Dnickman (11-3) and the Disco (10-4) and now in season 4 the Swedes with 10 wins and just four defeats. It was a record that seen them enter the playoffs as the number 1 ranked team.
Week 8 saw the Swedes post 183.88 to claim the best team performance of the year. This is the same group of players that the collective press had dismissed as the weakest Swedes outfit the league had ever seen. They are the only team for last years post season to make the return journey this time round. Stafford, Lynch, Thomas, Wayne, Gronkowski, all players that you would have had on your pre-draft planning but they all ended up in the arms of Coach Peter. He has been voted the Coach of the Year by his peers, he has the Northern Divisional title but all this will mean nothing without the Swedes first ever Carltonbowl victory.


Amazingly as we close the curtain on the regular season only four team have failed to reach the playoffs since official records began, the Autopick Disappointments, The Lottery and Fear Factory. Perhaps they are just unlucky, perhaps they are just inept Coaches with a very poor knowledge of the NFL. They join the Bench Warmers, West Coast Mafia, Llllosers, Seventy Nine FC, Fear Factory and the Disco as the nine month wait begins before the slate is wiped clean and we all begin with the potential of a 14-0 season.

For the Super Swedes, Pauls Polarbears, The Bones Rocks and the French Leader, the dream is still very much alive. A dream that one day in early January the postman will knock at their door and deliver a very big, very shiny, Clartonbowl Trophy.


Good luck gentleman. 






Jim Marrs - 14-0 


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