79FC. SEASON OF SHAME!

SNOOZEFEST OF THE WEEK #1

PAULS POLARBEARS v SUPER SWEDES

The Swedes return to the playoffs.  Super.

FANTASY PREDICTION : SWEDES BY 4

FANTASY REALITY :SWEDES BY 47.18

This was it.  After a season of being mocked, praised and mocked again, the Polarbears faced off against the Swedes with a chance to regain their top stop and all but secure their first ever visit to the post season.  66.65pts!  What a farce!  A complete no-show from the Bears!  Where did they go?  Are they in winter hibernation already?  As if the defeat wasn't bad enough the Swedes have stretched the points differential to an insurmountable total.  The Polarbears are now in a 4 way crap shoot for the wildcard berth.  For the first time, with just one week of the regular season left, Coach Paul's destiny lies in the laps of the fantasy Gods.
All hail Coach Peter and his mighty Super Swedes as this win ensured they retained their Northern Divisional title.  They are the only team from last years playoffs to be making a return visit and in all likely hood they will be there as the number 1 ranked team.  They have scored more fantasy points than any other franchise and they have coped with the loss of Gronk without missing a beat.  They have the highest weekly score of the season, they are the team of the season and they win Carltonbowl IV.    

SNOOZEFEST OF THE WEEK #2

FEAR FACTORY v FRENCH LEADER

French Leader secures an unofficial playoff place. Splendide

FANTASY PREDICTION : LEADER BY 14

FANTASY REALITY : LEADER BY 31.68

We all had the chance to do it, but only one of us was brave enough to make the call.   On November 4th 2007 he broke the NFL record for most rush yards in a single game, 296 of them in fact.  On December 24th 2011, he stubbed his little toe and was carted off the field of play.  Nobody had ever come back even close to the player they were from that. Even if he did come back he would never be the same. 210 rush yds, 10 receiving, a TD and 34.00pts.  Don't you wish your running back was hot like Peterson?  Don't ya, don't ya!  With that one brave draft day gamble Coach Laurent finds himself in the post season for the first in franchise history.  Tous grêlent le chef français.
This defeat leaves the Fear Factory on the edge of another season of what might have been.  They remain in contention for the wildcard berth but only just.  The Polarbears will need to fall to Tttaylor, The Lottery must defeat 79FC and most importantly the Factory must snap their losing streak and beat the Benchwarmers.  Botond has some depth on the bench and really needs to study those match ups to stand any chance against the potentially high scoring Coach Richard.    

AUTOPICK DISAPPOINTMENTS v  BENCH WARMERS

Riggins is still in the wildcard race.

  FANTASY PREDICTION : RIGGINS BY 10

FANTASY REALITY :  RIGGINS BY 16.16

The mysterious Richardo managed to pull the required rabbit out the hat to keep the Benchwarmers season alive with this win over the disappointments.  With a good roll of the fantasy die Coach Richard could find himself in the post season for the second time in his four competitive seasons.  Some would argue that it might even be time to take the one time rookie seriously.  Mobile device at hand and Coach Richard is ready for week 14.

Its been a disappointing, almost irrelevant season for Coach Conor but if he is to learn one thing let it be the age old mantra of 'START YOUR STUDS.'  If you gonna trade for a bit of Luck then start the fella.  QB Fitz might win a game of 20 questions but when it comes to chucking the pigskin Luck wins out every time regardless of the match up. I'm going on the record here. Luck is gonna be a top five pick for the next decade.  FACT.        

THE BONE ROCKS v LLLLOSERS

The Rocks makes the playoffs.  Grattis.

  FANTASY PREDICTION : BONES BY 7

FANTASY REALITY :BONES BY 40.88

Dismissed by the league at the start of the season the Bone Rocks have stomped all over the rest of the Central division to claim their first ever divisional title and with it a first ever visit to the post season.  The dream of an all Swedish final is alive.  At one stage of the match up the Rocks looked to on course to smash the CNFLE weekly record but once the win was in the bag the Rocks backed off to ensure all their player would be fit for a tilt at the Carltonbowl.  The Rocks have good depth on the bench and could yet be holding the hallowed trophy aloft in a few short weeks time.
Ttttaylor knows what it takes to get your hands on that golden trophy and after the events of this season Coach Taylor is pretty sure that one thing it takes is not to draft at 12.  They are now guaranteed the number 1 pick for season 5 and without doubt will be one of the hot favourites come September 2013.

WEST COAST MAFIA v IT’S A LOTTERY

Lottery and Mafia.  Both losers.

 FANTASTY PREDICTION : MAFIA BY 7
FANTASY REALITY :  LOTTERY BY 25.36

The Mafia entered this match up with an outside chance of entering the wild card party but Eagles back up RB Brown did for Coach Cullen.  The win allowed the Lottery to hit the 5 win mark for the first time since season 1.  Their final match up against 79FC will be an interesting one given Coach Martin's recent string of misdemeanors.

The Potty Mouth Pixie has had a sulk on for much of his second season as his team suffered from a sophomore slump.  CNFLE 5 will be a key season in defining the real quality of the leagues most inexperienced Coach.    

SEVENTY NINE FC v THE HAIRY FROG DISCO

79FC.  The wildcard is still on.

FANTASY PREDICTION : NINERS BY 10
FFANTASY REALITY : DISCO BY 55

Coach Martin has the chance to become the first Coach to win 2 Carltonbowls and the first Coach to be expelled from the league for fielding inactive players.  You could argue that Coach Martin is only hurting himself but by fielding a weakened line up the whole league is compromised.  At this stage we are awaiting a statement from the 79 franchise.
All which meant it was the return of the lucky old Disco from seasons gone by as Coach Calum kept up his dream of finishing 7-7 by beating up on the 7 man 79FC.  With a final week match up against the Dissapointments Coach Calum's dream's might just come true.

GOOD CALL

 

Coach Andy.  RB Brown makes it a five win season.

 

BAD CALL

 

Coach Martin.  Two inactive players. The league awaits an official apology.

ON THE BOARD

 

Griffin III - The Real Deal.

Vick - A Real Let Down.

Have we really reached the final game of the regular season?  Sadly that does appear to be the case.  Congratulations to The Super Swedes for retaining their Northern Divisional title.  Congratulations to the Bone Rocks for their first ever Central Divisional title.  Congratulations to the French Leader for their first ever unoffical Southern Divisional title.  For 79FC (shame on you), The Fear Factory and the Benchwarmers, may the best Coach win.  

Be sure to call back on Sunday for the Week 14 preview for the facts on what it will take to take that precious wildcard berth.

Good luck gentleman.

  

NUMBERS

Its all in the numbers.

With the season almost at its close, the North division still lays claim to having the two best teams in the league. This of course is a new phenomenon, for after the Divisional restructuring at the beginning of Season 2, the north has traditionally been the weakest of the three.

But which division can actually lay claim to being the strongest overall division in season IV? Well, the North has racked up 27 wins so far this year, the Central a paltry 19 and the South, 26. With the week 13 matchups being divisional each division will gain two more to the totals above leaving the winners of the best division of the year award to come down to the final weeks games! The Central certainly can’t win it but could still affect the outcome as each combination of divisional rivalries has a pair of matchups each on the final weekend of the 2012 regular CNFLE IV regular season.

But what of previous seasons? Well before their resurgence occurred this year, the North could only manage 21 wins all season (out of a maximum possible total of 44) in 2011, the Central claimed the season III honours with 33 out of 44, whilst the South came in a close runner up with 30.

Now those Coaches with a mathematical mind may notice that 21, 33 & 30 add up to more than the 44 maximum wins quoted and you would be correct. However, given than 12 wins from each division come against each other it’s just not possible for a division to win 4 games in those 6 divisional matchup weeks, which therefore produces the totals outlined above.

In Season II, The North managed a creditable 29 wins, bolstered by the 11 provided by the single season record holder, Tim Riggins Bench Warmers, whilst the Central racked up 28 and the South managed a paltry 27. Success then for the men from the North in what was an incredibly even handed season!

‘But what of the overall tally?’ I hear you cry. Well, through the 3 seasons of CNFLE play so far, since the documentation of records began, the current standings for the title of Strongest Division of all time are as follows:

North 77 wins to date

Central 80 wins to date

South 83 wins to date

So, it’s closer than you may have thought but the facts seem to bear out that despite never having taken the single season crown to date, the South division is in fact the winningest, toughest and best division in the whole dang CNFLE.

It’s a fact!

GAME OF THE WEEK #1

PAULS POLARBEARS v SUPER SWEDES

Coach Paul has been having a wobble.

The Swedes have got hot just at the right time and are riding the back of a three game winning streak. The Bears straightened their recent wobble with a win last week but have lost their stranglehold on the North. The winner of this game will not only have the inside track on the division but also have one hand on a playoff place, depending on how results go elsewhere they could clinch a place this very weekend.

The Bears had an early opportunity to establish a lead but White failed in the Thursday night game. The head to head matchups are even all over the park and both teams look to be equally matched with quality options everywhere. The keys will be whether Lynch or Bush can run the ball better in the Bears – Seahawks matchup and whether Dalton or the Law Firm put the Chargers to the sword.

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 4

GAME OF THE WEEK #2

FEAR FACTORY v FRENCH LEADER

Kaepernick.  A multi threat option.

With the South in a three way tie at seven wins a piece, a divisional matchup between two of the three with only two games to go will almost certainly sound the death knell for the loser. French Leader suffered a shock defeat at the hapless Hairies last week and missed an opportunity to gain sole control of the division whilst the Factory appear to have lost all their mid season momentum to drop a second consecutive reverse to fellow playoff hopeful Seventy Nine Fc who kept their own playoff chances alive!

Both teams have eight left to play, but the big news is that Brees failed to hit double figures for the Factory which leaves Botond in a bind. The Leader has picked up Kaepernick from the waiver wire in a last ditch attempt to rejuvenate their playoff push and it could be a masterful play for our Gallic general as the 49ers signal caller is a multi threat option. Austin’s no show last week for the Factory will also add worry lines to the brow of the Factory foreman. The Leader line-up looks stronger in every department this week.

VERDICT : LEADER BY 14

AUTOPICK DISAPPOINTMENTS v  BENCH WARMERS

Coach Richard needs a rabbit.

In an astonishing turn of events, the end of season branding of the once mighty Royal with TD’s franchise sums up their fate for the 2012 season. Their loss last week consigned them to the status of also rans and the release of pressure seems to have been welcomed by Coach Conor. Believe it or not, a win today and a freak set of results next week can earn the 6 & 6 Bench warmers a spot in the 2012 playoffs. It would be the comeback of all time but could the rookie pull the rabbit from the hat?

Turner’s return of 13 points for the Riggins boys is a solid platform from which to work and with Rodgers set for a big return against the Vikes as are the pack D it looks like another bumper score for Coach Richard. The real eye opener in this match however is the line-up on the Autopick bench! Luck, Mendenhall, Jennings, Fitz & Bowe all ride the pine, a year or two ago that lot could have won a match on their own. How times have changed!

VERDICT : RIGGINS BY 10

THE BONE ROCKS v TTTTAYLOR

First ever divisional title for the Bones?

The Bones victory last week against the Lottery combined with the surprise loss by the Mafia have all but cemented Coach Lars first ever berth in the playoffs. A victory against a Ttttaylor that has won two of the last three will guarantee it. No-one gave the Rocks a cat in hells chance of success this year but great waiver selections coupled with shrewd weekly selections has ensured Coach Lars is a major contender for Coach of the year. A win this week for Ttttaylor and their hold on the #1 pick in the 2013 darft will actually be in jeopardy. However if recent form is anything to go by this could be one of the down weeks in what has been an up and down season.

After Thursdays game the scores are more or less even, which given that Ttttaylor has seen his #1 reciever and QB tandem play could be a worrying sign for the outgoing Champ. The Bones turn to SuperCam as his matchup against the Chiefs (if it goes ahead) seems ripe for a big return for the Bones #1 pick. Shorts & Blackmon could have big days again for Ttttaylor and this matchup will be closer than the projections suggest. The Bones should still win however and claim their first Central division title.

VERDICT : BONES BY 7

WEST COAST MAFIA v IT’S A LOTTERY

Not the breakout season the Lottery had hoped for.

After all the noise and rattling of cages, the 2012 season is in its death throes for the Mafia who now need a win from his 2011 nemesis Ttttaylor against the Bones and a victory against the free falling Lottery to keep the life support turned on. The Lottery have dropped four straight and are now in real danger of finishing what promised to be a breakout season in dead last.

Amazingly after last weeks injury, Forte looks set to return to action, however both he and CJ2K have tough matchups this week against stout run defenses. Romo looks to have a great opportunity to throw for a single game record 70 attempts this week against an Eagles team that is shorn of confidence and heart. The trade for Gonzo seems to have arrested the Lottery tight end traumas, however with a running back corps consisting of a an untried rookie and an underused timeshare component in a Luck driven offense its hard to recommend a victory for Coach Andy’s charges.

VERDICT : MAFIA BY 7

SEVENTY NINE FC v THE HAIRY FROG DISCO

It's all about them Patriots.

Both teams won last week, but the win for the Niners against the factory was essential to keep Coach Martin in the hunt for his second Carltonbowl in three years. A victory for the Niners this week is also a must to keep pace with the winner of the Factory / Leader game. The Hairies seem to be reveling in their role as spoiler, as last weeks single point upset victory against the Leader showed.

Matt Bryant has returned an excellent 13 point haul for a kicker but golden Graham’s return of 6 is a bit disappointing and leaves this match still in the balance. As usual the Niners hopes all rest on how Terrific Tom does and this week the Fins are the latest defence to be placed on the Patriots platter. Last time these two teams met the Patriot players accounted for 92 points from a total of 129. The Hairies hope to welcome back Murray to their backfield but with touchdowns proving hard to come by all year a score around the League average winning score is to be expected. It all depends on whether the Pats demolish the Dolphins

VERDICT : NINERS BY 10

So then, wins for the Swedes, Riggins, Rocks, Mafia, Leader and Niners give the Swedes the inside track on the North, the Rocks victory in the Central and the Niners and Leader the chance to fight for Southern glory next week.

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Just the facts ma’am.

Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Super Swedes 4-7

Bone Rocks 10-11

French Leader 6-4

Seventy Nine Fc 6-4

Pauls Polarbears 6-4

Fear factory 10-1

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 10-1

FOUR DOWN

THE WEEK 12 REVIEW

ITS LOTTERY V THE BONES ROCKS

The San Fran D.

FANTASY PREDICTION: BONES BY 17

                                           FANTASY REALITY: ROCKS BY 11.2

The Rocks will be keeping the Champagne on ice for one more week but this win over the dysfunctional and soon to be disbanded Lottery has one half of Sweden preparing for the mother of all celebrations. The Rocks front 3 of Schaub, Gore and Martin are laying a solid foundation week in and week out with the 49ers D proving to be the icing on a winning cake. The Central Divisional title will be secured with a win against the Mafia in week 13 and this is surely just a formality.

For The Lottery a season which started with such promise is ending with the same old story of injuries and 4 wins. The only difference is this year that may well finish dead last.

AUTOPICKWARRIORS V PAULS POLARBEARS

Next up the Swedes!

FANTASY PREDICTION: POLARBEARS BY 7

                                     FANTASY REALITY: POLARBEARS BY 15.3

The Polarbears handed Coach Paul a much needed win to keep the franchises dream of a first ever CNFLE post season appearance alive. It was the little things that made the difference for the Bears, a TD for Keller, a 10.30pts return for Reece, even Dawson's 8pts kept the score ticking over until the win was secured. Week 13 sees the Polarbears take on the Super Swedes in the game of the season. With just 2 weeks of the regular season remaining the Polarbears stand on the edge of success...and failure.

We've been waiting all season but at last it's official, the Warriors are indeed irrelevant. Last weeks win provided a glimmer of hope but that has been well and truly extinguished by this defeat. All that is left is for Coach Conor to spend the off season sourcing a new broadband provider as CNFLE look welcome Royale With TD's back to the fold.

 BENCHWARMERS V SUPER SWEDES

Coach Peter.  Coach of the Season?

FANTASY PREDICTION: SWEDES BY 3

                                         FANTASY REALITY: SWEDES BY18.98

Let us not forget that the Swedes are the current Northern Divisional Champions ending last season's campaign with a 8-6 record before falling to the Disco in the first round of the playoffs. In all likelihood they will be the only team of last season's playoff four to make a return to the post season. Add to this the fact that the Swedes are nailed on to win the official CNFLE 2013 Calendar for the Team Performance of the Week and there is surely only one candidate for Coach of the Season. Ofcourse a defeat to the Polarbears in Week 13 followed by a further set back at the hands of the Mafia in the final week and Coach Peter could end the season with little more than memories of what might have been.

Much has been made by 79FC allegiance to New England and the Rocks love of the 49ers but less has been made of the Benchwarmers and their ties to the Pack. So although the Swedes looked to have this one in the bag Coach Richard was still waiting for Rogers to hurl the pigskin. By the end of the Packs match up against the Giants Coach Richard was still waiting for Rogers to hurl the pigskin. 12.96pts from Rogers and the Benchwarmers lose. FACT. So does the signal the end of the Benchwarmers post season dreams? Well, either the Swedes or the Polarbears are guaranteed to finish 9-5 meaning the divisional title is now out of reach. A wildcard berth is still however on the cards...just.

TTTTAYLOR V WEST COAST MAFIA

Coach Taylor.

FANTASY PREDICTION: MAFIA BY 20

                                      FANTASY REALITY: TTTTAYLOR BY 24.38

Now I'll be the first to raise my hands and admit that the Weekly Review has not always been the most factually correct publication but the same cannot be said for sister publication the Weekly Preview. Besides having an impeccable reputation for truth, justice and the American way, the Weekly Preview contains genuinely insightful information. We don't just make this stuff up you know. Let me quote from the Week 11 Preview, “The injury to Blaine Gabbert last week has suddenly made the Jags receivers a viable proposition with Henne under centre .” The result come Sunday? Shorts and Blackmon combine for 32.90pts. From the same review, “The Rams could contribute a decent defensive output against Coach Tttt’s beloved Cards.” The result come Sunday? 28Pts for the Rams D. All of which left your current CNFLE Champions handing the Mafia one hell of a beating. Ttttaylor are currently the hot favourites for CNFLE 5, its a fact!

The Mafia just haven't been themselves this season, their potty mouthed pixie of a headcoach has been strangely quiet. A win here and another one against the Rocks in week 13 could have meant a second consecutive divisional title for Coach Cullen. Of course the injury to Forte hurt the Mafia, although not as much as it hurt Forte, but their just been something off with the Mafia all season long. It will be interesting to see what Coach Cullen makes of what look like being a high draft pick come season 5.

THE HAIRY FROG DISCO V FRENCH LEADER

FANTASY PREDICTION: DISCO BY 1

                                           FANTASY REALITY: DISCO BY 1.38

With the Disco out of playoff contention Coach Calum announced that he would spend the rest of the season in the role of league spoiler with the French Leader as his first target.

True to his word Griffin mark 3 started the ball rolling with another 40pts haul mocking all those Coaches who believe that no heart Vick would outscore the rookie over the course of the season. Johnson came though with 13.60pts and Manning remember where the endzone was with the Disco's Nicks the grateful recipient. The Texans D imploded for the second consecutive week but it mattered not, the W was going the way of the Spoilers.

Boy oh boy, the 49ers are looking good again, that D is mighty impressive, Kaepernick could prove to be an inspired choice at QB, Gore keeps churning out the yards and then of course there is tight end Veron Davis. Not a week goes by without Davis posting decent numbers, 14.30pts in week 11 for example. Yep, not a week goes by without Davis posting decent numbers.

This defeat leaves the French Leader in a 3 way tie in the race for Southern honours. Week 13 is going to be unlucky for someone.

SEVENTY NINE FC V FEAR FACTORY

Coach Martin.  Treading a thin line.

FANTASY PREDICTION: NINERS BY 24

FANTASY REALITY: NINERS BY 44.24

Coach Keeper League chalked up an impressive win on the back of another Patriot laden roster to keep 79FC on course for a record breaking second CNFLE title. It's a dynasty I tell ya! Morris continues to resist any attempt of Shanahaniginns with another impressive display against the Cowboys. But what's the inactive Young doing in the 79FC's starting lineup? Coach Keeper league will be warned and only escapes punishment as 79 strolled to an easy victory. But let us be quite clear, if any Coach fields an inactive player and loses their match up as clear consequence of this they risk being expelled from the league. Sort it out Coach Martin!

Coach Botond, who at one stage of the season looked to be a clear favourite for the Southern division now faces a nervous two weeks as the Factory seek entrance to the post season for the first time in their history. With Hawkings inactive and on the bench, the last thing Coach Botond needed was to see Austin fall early against the Redskins. Early reports suggest that Austin will sit out week 13 although Hawings may return. The Factory will look to the waiver wire to ensure their strongest possible line up for next weeks must win match up against the Leader.

GOOD CALL

Coach Taylor. Shorts and Blackmon. Ttttaylor may be bottom of the pile but they still have one of the smartest Coaches out there.

BAD CALL

Coach Martin. Hawkings. Inactive. You have been warned.

ON THE BOARD

Griffin III: 267.28

Vick: 151.34

So the Autopickwarriors and the Lottery join Ttttaylor and the Disco as they collectively drown their sorrows and begin planning for season 5. But as things stand its any 4 from 8 with just 2 weeks of the regular season left to play!

Good luck gentleman.

Jim Marrs – Available for hire.