THANK YOU MA'AM.

It’s Thanksgiving weekend across the pond, and already many of the games have taken a turn in one direction or the other in three of the highest scoring turkey games that we can ever remember. But whilst our pioneering cousins have already paid thanks to their forefathers with a yam and a warm thank you ma’am what, or who, do the twelve Carlton coaches have to be thankful for.

Super Swedes – Coach Peter gives thanks that Matt Stafford’s early season form has been consigned to the history books and the fact that his squad looks extremely strong running down the home stretch

Pauls Polarbears – Thanks his lucky stars that his 5&0 start to the season hasn’t been completely wasted after dropping 4 of the past 6 and was thankful that the red rifle was still on the waiver wire after Manning Jnrs season IV meltdown.

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers – Thankful for the advent of mobile devices and also the ability to be able to say ‘I was right’ after he picked Spiller in round 3 in his rookie draft all those years ago.

Autopick Warriors – Is thankful that 56 points is enough to win a game after last week and that his nemesis Coach Cullen is having as miserable season as himself and that he is still just about in the playoff picture despite having a losing record.

It’s A Lottery – carves his turkey and says a prayer that he got his contractual obligation 4 wins before both Mojo & Shady went down with injury and that Dr Crippen found an eco friendly alternative to iridium to aid Peyton’s recuperation.

Bone Rocks – Thanks his players for ignoring the pre season hype about every other team being better than them and the condescending media reports that Coach Lars has lost it, to lead the charge to the playoffs in the Central.

Ttttaylor – Thanks the fact that the season is almost over and he can look forward to the number 1 pick next year.

West Coast Mafia – Thanks CJ2K for remembering that he is actually one of the best players in the League and for the last minute score by Josh Freeman that gave him his first Guinness Bowl victory

Hairy Frog Disco – Coach Calum thanks Coach Martin for offering the trade that took RGIII to the Swamp in a season that had barely any bright spots, and gives thanks that he has still got a chance to protect his consecutive winning season record.

Fear Factory – Thanks the NFL for exposing bounty gate and forcing Drew Brees into game situations where he has to throw for 400 yards each week to give the Saints a chance of victory

French Leader – Praises the Wembley organisers for the Pats blowout victory and all eleven other Coaches for passing (and in some cases twice) on concensus future Hall of famer Adrian Peterson in the 2012 draft.

Seventy Nine FC – Thanks heavens that the Champions Curse is just one season long and that Coach Belichick is still a genius after all these years.

And to cap it off I am sure that all the Coaches would like to pass on their thanks to Commissioner Gordon for running probably the greatest Fantasy NFL league in the whole dang world.

GAME OF THE WEEK

BENCHWARMERS (6-5) v SUPER SWEDES (7-4)

Matt Stafford. 

All time series record : Swedes lead 3-2

Last time out : Riggins 92 – 118 Swedes

With only three games to go this week witnesses the return of the fixtures from the opening week, and all but two teams can still make it through to the playoffs, albeit some need more luck than others. Two teams that hold their fate in their own hands are the Bench Warmers and the Swedes who both won last week to set up a do or die divisional showdown. In week 1 the Swedes got the upper hand but as we know from recent performances both teams have the capability of posting massive scores.

Rodgers is still on course for another MVP season and his matchup against the current Superbowl Champs the Giants is a mouthwatering affair, he should be good for another big score if the line can keep JPP from hunting down the Packer play caller. Stafford has blown hot and cold all season but in the early turkey game on Thursday he was as hot as a freshly baked apple pie as he torched the Texans secondary for 35 points. No matter how well Rodgers plays it will be difficult to post numbers to beat that total. EDGE : SWEDES

Riggins running backs have been a feast or famine situation all year. Bush started the season well but has become a bit part player for the ailing Fins, Turner is sometimes effective and Spillers productivity relies on the health of Freddie Jackson. Spiller’s matchup looks the best of the three but it is difficult to recommend any of these backs as heavy scorers. The Swedes have ridden Beast Mode Marshawn all year long and he has delivered when it has mattered. Facing a Dolphins defence that has fallen away after a good start, Lynch looks like a good bet for another 20 point haul. The injury to Willis McGahee would have been a massive loss if Law Firm had not begun to produce again for the Bungles who look as if they could be a dark horse for a wild card berth this year. EDGE : SWEDES

Riggins have always come up trumps when it comes to picking up receivers. After a slow start and that circus catch that almost was, Dez Bryant has put up monster numbers in recent weeks and brought home 28 points after the Cowboys turkey day loss to the Redskins. Victor Cruz has been hit by Manning’s ineptitude but could be in line for a comeback performance against the Packers secondary and Floyd has been solid but has a tough assignment this week against the Ravens. 11 points from the 3^rd receiver is a welcome boon for the Swedes as Moss has rediscovered his form after nearly being cut in pre season camp this year. Reggie Wayne will continue his impressive production against a porous Bills defence in what is expected to be a shootout and Thomas has a great matchup against the Chiefs but could suffer when the Broncos get ahead and use Hillman. EDGE : RIGGINS

After Redskin Davis went down, Coach Richard tried Coby Fleener in the hope that his chemistry with Luck proved profitable. Alas for the rookie it didn’t but instead he has engineered the pick up of draft day sleeper Jermaine Gresham who has done the CNFLE rounds this year. Now that Dalton’s aim is becoming more keen the longer the season goes, the more Gresham has become a factor and against Oakland his recent upturn in form should continue. How can Coach Peter replace the #1 tight end in the game? The answer is, he can’t and with Gronk’s possible season ending injury creating a big hole in the Swedes squad in comes Green Bay’s much vaunted Finley who was a top tier tight end on draft day but has disappointed thus far. Finley made a timely return to form last week but he may be required to block the Giants pass rush more than catch passes. EDGE : RIGGINS

In a startling move Coach Richard has benched his highly productive Packers posse for the Panthers who face the Eagles offence who struggled badly last week with back up Nick Foles under centre. Whilst the Eagles are expected to struggle again this change could be the defining decision of this match. Will Coach Richard propel himself into the genius bracket with this call? Coach Peter is leaning on the Bengals defence for the run in and their matchup against the Raiders could prove to be profitable. With no running game to speak of the Raiders will be forced to pass and although the Bengals could give up points they will be good for turnovers and sacks. Tucker has the edge on Succop in the kicking game EDGE : SWEDES

With the score at 45-28 to the Swedes after the early games but with Riggins holding an extra player advantage this game is intriguingly poised. Riggins need the win to keep alive their playoff dream but they will fall agonizingly short in a classic high scoring matchup when the Eagles beat the Panthers and Richards claims to coaching immortality lay in tatters.

VERDICT : SWEDES BY 3

WARRIORS (5-6) v PAULS POLARBEARS (7-4)

Andrew Luck.

All time series record : Warriors lead 4-1

Last time out : Warriors 94 – 105 Bears

This match is the fingernail bowl. After last weeks victory the Autopicks are hanging on by theirs to the dream of making their first playoffs. On the other side of the field, after another disappointing loss, the Bears are desperately trying to cling to the memory of their early season form where every win was cheered with the clarion call, ‘playoffs here we come’.

A last ditch trade by Coach Conor means that he now has Luck on his side instead of crying with Rivers, however Professor Fitzpatrick has a sumptuous looking matchup against the Colts themselves so it may not be this week that the Colts prodigy makes his bow for the Warriors. Despite being hamstrung by the lack of a credible passer, cards wideout Fitz maintains his spot in the Autopick lineup possibly on name alone. Rice has an excellent opportunity to produce big numbers against a Chargers team that is slumping towards the off season and AJ Green will certainly add to his TD streak against a hapless Raiders defence. Good looking week for the Warriors.

The Polarbears are limping and as we all know from our outwards bounds training, it’s best to keep your distance from a wounded bear in the woods. Foster has already signaled Coach Paul’s intent to go down fighting with an outstanding Thanksgiving performance against ‘Detroit sucks’. Dalton will be hoping to keep his hot hand on the Cincinatti trigger and should perform well against the Raiders. Rumours in Green Bay suggest that the play calling will be aiming to get the ball in Cobb’s hands any way they can and use the third year man much like Harvin in the Twin Cities.

With a healthy advantage of 32 points after the Thursday games the momentum is with the Bears. The Autopicks need to win this one or else it’s the end of the road and they should get close. Unfortunately the lack of form from Fitz will cost Conor dear.

VERDICT : BEARS BY 7

THE BONE ROCKS (6-5) v IT’S A LOTTERY (4-7)

The playoff bound Bones.

All time series record : Rocks lead 4-1

Last time out : Rocks 116 – 90 Lottery

After week 8, the Lottery sat on top of the Central with a .500 record whilst the Bones had lost their early season form and dropped to 3-5. Fast forward to week 12 and the two teams fortunes in the intervening period could not have been more different as the Bones ride a 3 game winning streak and now lead the division but the Lottery enter the fray after their third straight reverse. The week 11 loss was especially hard to swallow coming against their bitter rivals from deep in the Swamp.

Finally Andre Johnson has decided to come to the party and his refound connection with Shaub is not only rescuing the Texans cause but Coach Lars season as well. Doc Martin is odds on for the rookie of the season award after his recent performances and faces a sketchy Falcons run defence. Gore is also in line for a big haul against the Saints provided Brees doesn’t fire the Bayou boys ahead early and force the 49ers away from the run. James Jones has done an excellent job filling in for Jennings and has yet to register an official drop.

It’s almost as if once the Lottery got their fourth win the season had somehow ended as they promptly reverted back to type and now prop up the Central. It took 11 weeks, but finally the Lottery 1^st round pick went the way of so many previous and entered the treatment room to join the #2 pick MJD watching from the sidelines. In come the Brown brothers and whilst they may not have the rep of the two previous Lottery backs they do have good matchups. Manning will continue his great season against the Chiefs and new signing Gonzo will try to end the Lottery’s tight end woes. Good matchups but question marks about personnel.

A win here and the Bones have one foot in the playoffs and it would be a sweet return for Coach Lars who was listed as the rank outsider after the draft. A loss for the Lottery and it’s all over for another season and all that’s left will be to ensure that they are not picking 4^th in the 2013 draft. The Bones have scored 140+ in two of the past three weeks and this week could be number 3.

VERDICT : BONES BY 17

TTTTAYLOR (2-9) v WEST COAST MAFIA (5-6)

Romo.  The worst 40pt return you'll ever see.

All time series record : Rocks lead 2-0

Last time out : Factory 88 – 113 Rocks

The Ttttaylor loss last week against the Autopicks was the lowest scoring match in the history of the CNFLE. Ever. This season just cannot end quickly enough for last years Champs. Ttttaylor versus Dnickman was a matchup last year that set mouths watering in anticipation and whilst the Mafia are still in with a shout of the playoffs, another loss last week has silenced the potty mouthed pixie after a noisy few weeks when they regained their form and their hopes of keeping their playoff record at 100%

The tandem of Ryan and Jones has not lived up to expectations. Let’s face it nothing Ttttaylors team has done actually has, however if ever there was a week that the two could get back on the same page this could be it as they face a Bucs D that averages over 300+ passing to offenses this season. The injury to Blaine Gabbert last week has suddenly made the Jags receivers a viable proposition with Henne under centre, so much so that Ttttaylor has decided to start two of them! The Rams could contribute a decent defensive output against Coach Tttt’s beloved Cards. Charles will find it tough against a stout Broncos run D.

‘When they are good they are very, very good, but when they are bad they are horrid’ could have been written solely for the Mafia this year and Tony Romo in particular. Even when Romo is horrid though he still throws 60+ times and racked up another 40 point performance to put the Mafia well in control. Elsewhere both CJ2K and Matt Forte should have productive days, especially the Titan former running back champ against the Jags. The receivers have been an enigma so far, both Nelson and Jackson are capable of posting big numbers but have only done it rarely so far this year.

The 54 points recorded by Ttttaylor last week was the 4th worst score of all time and means that the Champ is the owner of the two worst weekly scores of the season thus far, and is also currently in danger of posting the worst season win loss record in Carlton history. A win for the Mafia and the dream still lives on, a defeat and they could be two behind with two to play.

VERDICT : MAFIA BY 20

SEVENTY NINE FC (6-5) v FEAR FACTORY (7-4)

Heartbreak for the Factory?

All time series record : Niners leads 3-2

Last time out : Niners 120 – 103 Factory

Now this is indeed a big, big game. The Niners slipped up last week despite the efforts of Tom Terrific losing a close one to the Swedes and falling a game behind in the South. After winning five straight the Factory were brought crashing back to earth when they posted their lowest score of the season to fall to the resurgent Rocks.

With the New England scores already in from Thursdays games we have a fair idea of how the Niners will perform and wow, will you look at that stat line. Brady 40pts, Ridley 15 and the D 28, in addition to a few from Lloyd and an Albert Morris 20 point tally the Niners have already racked up 107 from 6 players. Roberts is unlikely to add much but Graham could get a few against the 49ers. Looks like a big week for Coach Martin.

Once Coach Botond has recovered from the shock of the Niners return he will be pleased to realize that his two returns, Garcon & Leshoure have performed ok. So it’s not quite the inter galactic scoring on the other side but it’s a start. The return of zero from Austin however is the killer though as he was ignored in the Romo – Bryant show. Brees will need to have the game of his life to match Brady against the 49ers, but Fred Jackson looks to be back and should be productive against the Colts. Gates and Marshall have big play potential but it’s a big ask to recoup the 80+ points they need for victory this week.

Coach Martin cannot afford to lose this one and when you need a clutch performance you can rely on Tom. Botond will hope that his mid season form returns soon or else it could be more playoff heartbreak for the Factory.

VERDICT : NINERS BY 24

HAIRY FROG DISCO (4-7) v FRENCH LEADER (7-4)

A Disco win?

All time series record : Disco lead 4-1

Last time out : Disco 93 – 100 Leader

If anyone thought that the hapless Disco were going to lie down and take their kicking then they haven’t read their history books. With the opportunity to keep their record of never having a losing season intact they were never going to give up easy. The French are now the #1 ranked team in the CNFLE IV, they were the pre season favourites and they are hitting form at exactly the right time.

Still without their #1 & #2 draft picks, the Disco have been forced to plunder the waiver wire for weekly replacements and seem to have found a selection that can now contribute more than just 4 or 5 points each. Ballard looks like he is the future in Indy and Stewart has a great opportunity to show he is the main man in Carolina. Johnson and Nicks could both score well this week now they are 100% and Myers has been a revelation at tight end since signing up. RGIII put up 40 points again which made up for the implosion of the Texans D.

Some say that if Coach Laurent hadn’t lost focus last year then the Leader could have won the South. Well Coach Laurent went away again this year but seems learnt from his experience last time and kept tabs on his team this. With Big Ben still hearing bells after his ringing a couple of weeks ago, Carson palmer comes in to steer the Leaders ship and should have a good game against the Bungles. Peterson has been magnificent so far this season but may find it tougher against a swarming Bears defence. Colston will struggle against the 49ers and Jackson needs to improve. The Seahawks should provide a positive return against the Dolphins.

Both teams have seven men left to play, the Disco have bookended their lineup with 45 points from RGIII and the D and the Leader have also had a bumper output from their superstar Megatron who contributed 23 points. If Palmer can get his aim then the Leader should take this one, however what’s that we hear? It’s the UPSET ALERT for the first time this season and the Hairies will take the role of playoff spoiler in week 12.

VERDICT : HAIRIES BY 1

So then, wins for the Swedes, Bears, Rocks, Mafia, Niners and Hairies make it a two way affair in the North and the Central but a three way tie in the ultra competitive south

Don’t shoot the messenger.

Just the facts ma’am.

Latest odds supplied by Vasco De Gama

Super Swedes 4-7

Bone Rocks 10-11

Pauls Polarbears Evens

Fear Factory 6-4

French Leader 6-4

Seventy Nine Fc 6-4

West Coast Mafia 3-1

Tim Riggins Bench Warmers 25-1